a manifesto of sorts

I, like you, have accumulated a bookshelf full of books i never intend to read, and growing.

i, like you, know what films i should be watching when i put another season of scrubs or family guy into the dvd player. and i have them too, those films i should watch, stacks and stacks of them. and growing.

and i know you've read all this before, fuck i know that no matter what idea i have, no matter what i write here on this useless blog it will never be anything original. there is not a single thought that this little brain could come up with that hasn't been thought before.

even today, just as i was thinking about the whole individuality as the new conformity thing, and then, there it was. wham. bound and pretty in City Lights Bookstore, already in paperback by some Hal Niedzviecki, ready for me to scan through and relate to and jump up and down rather embarrassingly shouting to my mum like christian bale did in velvet goldmine "THAT'S ME! MUM! THAT'S ME!". complete with some hipster with skinny tie and black cardie on the cover, all that was missing was the retro specs, which i'm sure is mentioned in chapter 5 somewhere. every sodding idea i have, it's floating out there, i just don't know about them yet. (yes ben, i'm using the "word" sod, it carries the right amount of washed out, wasted, trodden nuance that i need)

this is not an existentialist oh-woe-is-me-what-is-the-meaning-of-all-this crisis. i'm just saying, stating, in a manifesto sort of way, to just fuck it.

The Fuck It Manifesto.

it's like when i watched Juno. i mean was it ground breaking? no. not in content, style, comment or delivery. but was it entertaining? more importantly, was it worth while? Hell yeah. so fuck it. I, Alice Bing Qing Tao Qin (and anyone who cares to join me), vow to, henceforth, not worry about originality, repetitiveness, or (let's face it) quality, but just go ahead and see if i can put anything, anything at all into the world. the worth of which can be determined later, creation is the idea. enough of this worrying about whether people would like it or whether it would work or whether i feel sick writing the same opinions over and over again in uni essays. fuck it. it's better than not producing anything at all. (and failing uni courses because you didn't write the essay at all)

it's like when i finally decided to get my dSLR. i'm no photographer, and i probably never will be. i just knew that i needed something more than what my little point and shoot can give me. i have tons of photographer friends who would be able to see my pathetic shots with it but you know, fuck it. they're hardly going to critique me. i guess this isn't original either, it's the whole not being afraid thing isn't it? but as of now, i couldn't care less about that either.

so who's with me? for creativity's sake. for getting more voices herd. for never having to capitalise because it's just a blog. let's just fuck it all.

sincerely,
Alice Bing Qing Tao Qin

(sign your name in the comments if you're behind this movement)

jump for more......

two tails

*warning: filler post. actual content pending*

Charlie Parker, that's the second cat, and Miles Davis have settled quite well. i think. All day i watched them eat, drink, poop, and wrestle. no matter how hard i try to block out all access to under my bed they always seem to find a way in and retire for two hours at a time until i go in to fish them out, when they'll go eat, drink, poop, and wrestle. i think they're adapting to me now. instead of retreating they now wrestle over, around, and on top of me like i'm part of the furniture. i've given up on keeping them away from under my bed, instead i just leave them a gap for safe passage at the top of the bed so that if my worst fears of my bed collapsing is ever realised they can run out easily. i'm also trying to introduce them to the top of my bed. it's working, they now jump on, and run through it quite regularly on their routes of their chase games.



i've taken a few videos but you really have to see them. they're scratching the hell out of my room but they're the darn tootin' cutest things you ever saw. miles can climb half way up my curtains now!

oops. they both got distracted by my tapping away at the keypad half way through a half nelson and fell sidelong in a heap off my bed. i think i will introduce them to the rest of the house tomorrow. this room suddenly seems too small for them.



aah, miles has just learned the difference between pillow and doona. similar texture, but very different leverage points for attack. they're both perfecting the hind legs pounce, sometimes toppling over mid pounce. miles has these stubby little legs, so it's pretty funny. charlie is just beautiful, but a little schizo. frantically chasing his tail in jerky movements, and sometimes chasing something entirely imaginary.

twist, pounce. twist, pounce.

at air.



the game just got vicious, they're starting to push each other off the bed.

and now charlie's gone to the bathroom and miles can't find him. i am so becoming a cat lady but how can i help it when they're so cute when they're little?

jump for more......

Neon Bible

an hour until i have to get to work. today has been all around pretty shit. i AM benjamin law. fated to be married to the public transport system. i really should've gotten more sleep last night.

but outside of today things have been going well. the moronic cutting of my fringe times 4 which caused the epic (romeo in the desert) proportions of yelling "NOOOOOOooo" actually turned out pretty good. in that i don't look like a complete fool, and i can still pin it up if i wanted. the monologues are coming together nicely. finally have them down. i think. sort of. yes.

emmy bemmy's 21st was over the weekend, where i donned the pink wig which kept threatening to fall off. i was lacking a stocking. and hair nets are....well, hair nets. never go there people. was slightly worried about people guessing that i was natalie portman (aka alice the stripper) from closer than what i actually went as. miss thang from lost in translation, in memory of one of the best nights of summer '04. from one rockin party where no one was themselves to another rockin party where it got positively messy with a marathon gay three way in the kitchen. plans were laid out for the fake copelen.

This time next year, Tregsie, Carilious and I, no matter where we are in the world WILL be living together in some rockin house where the furnishings shall be tastefully arranged milk crates, and we would be living off sueballs' maccas VIP card. it shall be Copelen "The Bungalow". and we will work all year to make it happen. it's in writing people! now hustle!

ok i need get get a move on soon. but everyone go here

oh oh and



i know you all love Wes and Jason. the interview's in several clips that just play one after another so just let the goodness roll in people...

jump for more......

french dog blues

haven't really been in a blogging mood lately. first things first, if you're on facebook, go to the original blog post. it'll make your life that much richer.

so a lot has happened. china and back.


a lot of food, mahjong, bowing and loud percussive noise took place. i was plonked head-first into the province of women, where the thinness and fatness of various relatives could remain the hot topic for up to 4 hours at a time. the days were punctuated by food, the food punctuated by meeting relatives who don't remember me, who i don't remember, and don't really care all that much about my grandfather either.

a certain relative pranced around smiley and giddy with my uncle's camera taking pictures of everything like it was a big party, all i wanted to do was shake her up, slap the camera out of her hands, and scream. all these crazy rituals, who are we doing them for?

it felt horrible leaving my grandmother alone in that big house, with no one around save a few security guards, i was thankful for the long silent drive up to putuo mountain. the rest of the trip was just more food, i never thought i'd get so sick of eating, but i am.

and now i'm back. i had all these movie reviews drafted, maybe i'll finish them one day and put them up. who knows.

there will be fun times ahead though. the mexico trip planning is happening in full swing. tickets have been paid in full, including my extension in the states for about a month. if any of you would happen to be state side dec 5th - jan 6th, give me a holla. i have no idea where i'm going to be other than new years in new york (with jazz and crew) and somehow ending up in LAX for my flight back would be good.

oh and look, it's my birthday soon. i had no idea how soon until today, i honestly thought it was a few weeks away. 22. i don't really feel anything for it, which is why, for the fourth year running, i'm not doing anything for it. this time last year, i was getting excited to see young and restless for the first time. this time last year, i was buying my first penguin red. this time last year, i was just getting to know deano and mr. daphne. you know what? i'm calling it a pretty good year. the bonsai's still alive, one year and counting.

what else do you people care about reading? probably not much. the new issue of McSweeney's is apparently flying to my doorstep some time soon, i'm pretty effing excited, the believer has been bundles of joy and wholphin was pretty damn great.

my man on the inside. that's dean and his bose-ness, hooked me up with a new plasma. plus trimmings, he came around with his manpower buddy oyoy to fix it up nice, and boy is it nice. once we have all the rest of the shit sorted i'm having a movie night. it should be mexico/cuba themed, starting with the motorcycle diaries. or we should just go ahead and do what i have in my mind and let it just be an all out gael garcia bernal night. boy's don't fret, we could put on bad education, it'll be something for everybody. and i will celebrate it by buying the science of sleep. (is it my fault he's got perfect bone structure?)

oh before i flew off to china i went to see the shins.



am i weird for wanting james mercer to be a creepy uncle who drinks too much at family functions and starts hitting on everyone? well i think he's brilliant anyway, and i love that australia is their second single from wincing, and that the title has nothing to do with the song, and that the video has nothing to do with either the title or the song. i know i've linked this already, but seriously, go watch their take-away show. migod. go. now. open up a new tab, the blog'll still be here.

***

now wasn't your day made better by that?

oh and if you're wondering why this post is called french dog blues, it's because babyshambles has a new video. and i really like it. and i don't care how sick people think i am, i love pete doherty. he's like a sick little puppy dog. and wickedly funny when sober. all ironic and drowsy.

jump for more......

Qin Jia Yuan

He was sitting in his wicker chair. and his heart just stopped.

My grandpa died the same week as Ingmar Bergman. well 10 days later. still, he would've been proud. he was about 20 years younger than Ingmar though. I had prepared myself, ever since I came back from a visit 3 years ago, that it'll happen like this, we'd be far away, worrying about our own worries, and then there'd be a phone call. Three years ago I used to cry whenever I saw a pair of frail old hands, thinking that I might never see his pair again. I had hoped, some small hope, that we'd be able to get him here, fix his heart, fix his eyes, and I'd help him write his memoirs. I'd make him hand write them because I wanted the world to see his beautiful penmanship. He was eccentric the way most grandparents are eccentric. but they were his, and i understood them, and i loved them. Whenever I shake hands with someone I'd always remember how he used to tell me to go about my business, but then every few minutes would call me back into the room urgently, and then with nothing really to say he would sheepishly shake my hand. The road that I live off is Tu La Ke Lu (Toorak Road), and how picky he was about his food. I'm really just as picky as him, but nicer about it and would eat it even if I don't like it. I used to try to picture him as the flamboyant playboy of the east coast. (that's China, not Miami) the mistress he had and the daughter who's only ten years older than me.

he was always peaceful in his wicker chair. he probably had his giant jar of tea with him,an old Nestcafe jar, the Gold Blend because it has the curved sides that he can hold on to. I wonder what he was thinking about in those last moments. probably something about making a fresh pot of the good stuff he stole from mum two weeks ago. the man loved his tea. so do I when I come to think of it.

jump for more......

hold your breath

***

I've just realised I haven't really posed a recap of my trip have i? well here it is, hong kong in camera phone pictures...

You line it up to your face, and tweeze your eyebrows according to the line. I love sasa. there was also these cheek templates, you can choose to have a round circle, an oval, or a harsher dash across your cheek, space it from your nose, and apply blush.



there were two shelves full of different kinds of these. double sided sticky tape you place on your eyelid to create a crease, what asians call "double eyelids" as opposed to their chinky "mongolian eyes"



As I was taking this, 5 of them were still smoking



I love instant noodles, and the leaps and bounds asian instant noodles have taken since the last time i was in the warm cradle of preservative broth. now they come with eggs, in sealed foil. and not just any old boiled egg, the old home styled tea eggs i used to have as a kid. the yoke was a bit flaky.



I hate drinking, everyone knows that. well, a few things happened and my face met the pavement of Lan Kwai Fong. moet was involved. this ugly bruise was what resulted



I love fast food. this was fast food asian style. i learned to keep away from the rice burgers this time (teriyaki beef surrounded by two rice buns, sounds good, don't taste it) this was just a simple beef dish. cheap meet, drenched in sauce. I just really liked their fruit punch, they had this at maccas too. diced tinned fruit in tutti fruitti soda punch.

and that was it. that was all the photos i took while abroad. all on my phone. a few lucky peeps wrangled some souvenirs out of me, lucky bastards, i didn't even buy anything for myself. cept for the perfume. speaking of which, my perfume, the one i've been using the last three, four years, has been discontinued. fuck i want to be famous just so i can kick giorgio armani in the arse and get him to make them again. i don't smell like myself anymore, it's disorienting.

***

only other thing i got out of the trip was the realisation that, for no apparent reason, i've become the fat girl. i've never been the fat girl in my life. actually when i was younger i was always a little too thin, and then something happened, puberty probably, and i filled out a little more, i felt good about the filling out, i got bigger boobs out of it. modest yes, but bigger. i remembered joking around with friends that when i see someone overweight, i wonder if there is a moment when they look in the mirror and start to realise that, maybe they've over extended themselves a little? the tipping point where they think, shit, i've really gained a few there? and now i'm looking in the mirror, and thinking, is this the moment? fuck, how did it happen? and before you start writing in on how i'm not and i look "womanly" and blah blah, it's ok, i'm happy with my body, i really am. but i realise i have gained a bit since this time last year, and that was a few inches more on six months before that. i was wearing this pair of pants that i loved back in year 12, they used to hang on me, and tonight through the two films that i saw i was squirming around because they were so tight, and sitting a little high. i always thought i really packed it on during my late night "study sessions" back then. anyway, useless waffle. point is, i want to get healthier. start running, join a yoga class that sort of thing. i won't starve myself, god knows i can't. so don't worry.

***

MIFF started. that's pretty awesome, already seen three films out of it. Sicko for the opening last night, Breath (Kim Ki Duk) and Lagerfeld Confidential tonight.

I've never liked michael moore, but he does have a certain sense of humour about him. sicko hit a few of the right spots, and hopefully it draws some attention to this blindingly obvious problem. I kept hoping he would come down and evaluate the australian health care system, just to prove that we're not going in the way of the americans, but he didn't, and i'm still not so sure, we certainly don't get free treatment for everything.

The Kim Ki Duk was his usual study of human interactions and twisted mentalities. That's not to say it was anything short of brilliant. I've never disliked a movie made by that man, and the line in front of RMIT Capitol attests to his popularity here. granted i haven't actually seen any of his commercial work for the mainstream Korean media, but i'd say he's keeping happy enough with his art now to not bother with them anymore. There's another one of his films in the festival this year which i'm seeing tuesday night, can't wait.

The Karl Lagerfeld doco was...well...the subject matter was very interesting, otherwise it was pretty dull. it was pretty badly made, a lot of cliched shots of the roaring sea, later justified by young karl running in and out of the waves (at least i hope it was karl, otherwise that would've been just 5 minutes of pure crap). it reminds me of what nick hornby writes of biographies in the Polysyllabic Spree, cut the crap. who cares if someone who later became a genius at one stage of his childhood did something really mundane? or something to that effect. if you have little material to work with (which i suspect this filmmaker did, a lot shots from a distance, fillers, very little actual interview) don't fill it with crap. a shorter film doesn't make it less worthwhile. lagerfeld himself was a riot. he has a giant library that requires those wheel things to open up the shelves, books fill his bedroom, as do silver rings which he wears in abundance on his finger ("he used to be able to pat you, now it hurts"). he has a million ipods, and talks candidly about practicing homosexuality since he was 13. when he came home one night after being assaulted by a man and a woman, one can assume sexually, around the age of 11 or 12, his mother said to him "look at yourself, it's your own fault". there's a sign that hangs in the bathrooms, in the iconic Chanel white on black printed in French "Pissing everywhere isn't very Chanel". i wish a better filmmaker had made it.

aside from all that, well, a lot of things happened. among which my relationship status on my facebook. i know it's only a matter of time, but for now it just damned unbearable. i really am the shittest person i know.

jump for more......

The Unaccountable McSweeney

I'm not sure just quite how it happened. All I know is that, I was sitting here in my room, reading Zadie Smith's On Beauty and taking breaks by reading Nick Hornby's Polysyllabic Spree (not the crazy band that cameo'd in Scrubs, but the book, which only makes me want to go on and read more things like On Beauty, so it was the perfect plan really). I was musing for a moment just how incestuous the modern english literary circle really is, almost like Victorian England only instead of walking around London and bumping into all the literary celebs of the day you are all connected by publishing houses, sending you scripts of friends who are really only friends because you belong to the same publishing houses. Dave Eggers' wife edits The Believer (which Hornby writes a column for, would you believe it?)

So all of a sudden, I find myself doing a triple subscription of McSweeney's, The Believer AND Wholphin, because what kind of a cinema studies student would I be to neglect the DVD short film version of the McSweeney empire. and all of a sudden i'm out USD$160.

So as you can see, I'm am all together committed to this trip to Hong Kong. I've met 70% of the people I'm supposed to meet, and have had enough. Because honestly, even if on the slightest chance that there was anything for me here at all (if i was thin enough, and spoke cantonese enough), I wouldn't want to be a cog in the asian entertainment wheel. It's one thing to admire the work ethics of all these utterly talentless pretty young things, but quite another to want to be one. So sure Mr. Shamelessdirectorguy, I'll go home and drop a few kilos, learn some canto, and send you my portfolio. Do you take homemade DVDs?

I'm half tempted to skip my afternoon appointments and stay in and read. but the promise of some seriously good grub would end up dragging me out the door, into the sweat tank, to put on the happy ambitious face they love so much and tell them "yes I'd LOVE to be just like Twins or Isabella!" has anyone heard these girls trying to sing live? or indeed do anything at all other than stand there looking like a young pretty thing.

But I guess that's the industry everywhere, and still, the industry I want to get into. It's just that there isn't anything else BUT that here. Quality work really isn't appreciated here at all, quite aside from the fact that I couldn't possibly live here, I mean there are no art house cinemas and the bookstores look like my primary school library. They do sell City Moleskines here though, so one up for them. Oh and while on the subject of 'skines, a minor celebrity of the 'skine world Patrick Ng does live here.

I'm just bitter. I know that. If only I had some friends here, I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune. I did have the best japanese food of my life last night, and was so full from it i felt positive i could give birth to live crayfish as some kind of fucked up divine retribution.

I have no photos. I feel too shit to take photos. Plus, everywhere I look the technology everywhere puts my little out of date 4 megapixel to shame. I'm pretty sure all their mobiles have about that much. Shit, I'd better find out how to get to the Academy of Performing Arts from here on the MTR.

jump for more......

HK mania

Oh, it's humid alright. you don't even have time to sweat, the moment you step out a layer of reverse condensation develops on your skin. So far, i've done pretty much nothing. slept a lot, kept checking emails. I don't get to meet anybody til at least Monday, then I have a week to squeeze in as many meetings as i can.

the plane ride over here was largely uneventful, from melbourne to sing i sat next to this american medical research presenter who's on his way to the epilepsy convention. His breath stank a little, though he was nice enough, and nice enough to put his headphones on and didn't talk to me from take off onwards. happily enjoyed a whole bunch of embarrassing movies guilt free on the plane. Blades of Glory, Disturbia, Priceless, and half of Night at the Museum because I fell asleep half way through. i really didn't miss out on much.

the flight from singapore to hong kong was longer than i expected, there was a girl sitting with me, the seat between us was empty. but the girl, was the dullest little creature. she did. not. move. at all. didn't put her headphones on, didn't read anything, didn't look at anything. just sat there and stared. it was so strange, like tim burton's staring girl, i waiting for her to take her eyeballs out for the "well deserved rest".

yeah you guys don't care. anyway, i got here in one piece. a man on the plane with me who stood inline behind us for the check in saw me get off and gave me his card and told me to call him if i need anything, which i thought was nice of him, he didn't seem like the predatory type, although i doubt i'd call him.

i went out for walks today. just around the area. it's seedy and busy, with all this upmarket designer goods mixed with the dingiest riff raff stores. i needed to buy some adapters so i can charge my phone and stuff, but couldn't find them anywhere. so i wander into this building, that looks kind of dirty and the sort of place you can find cheap gadgety things, and it was like i stumbled into little india, if little india was run by a sleazy uncle who happened to be a wise guy. you know, not a connected guy, a wise guy. anyway, point of the story is, it was scary. i was right though, i found power adapters, but i didn't want to stop for long enough to buy it, i just kept walking and avoided eye contact. i come back and look in my guide book and the description actually did contain the words seedy and sleazy and worth a look just for kicks. well i'm glad i can tick THAT off my itinerary. anyway it was too hot to walk around too much, and all the streets i took happened to lead me right back here, so i came back.

my mum's friend's sister called me and his son asked me if i wanted to go out tonight. with my overseas can-do attitude i said "erm....ok?" then he said "ok i'll call you before we go clubbing" and hung up. so apparently i'm going clubbing, with a bunch of boys i've never met, in a pressure cooker. I should bail. i need my sleep if i want to make the 10:30 cut-off for my breakfast buffet. waffles tomorrow?

i can't be bothered blogging in any coherent manner, outside is too hot and my room is too cold, i've brought no jumpers with me and nothing that covers up past my knees. any words of support can be sent to me on my temporary 3 phone number, or facebook. daphne, get facebook, because i can get on it through my phone. myspace spazzes it out.

i'm a little freaked. and not knowing what the hell i'm doing is a little scary. and the fact that i don't smell like myself (they didn't have my perfume at the duty free store at the air port) worries me a little too. i bought amarni code because i needed a smell, and my plane was having a final boarding call, and now i smell like an overpriced version of burberry brit, a bit like an expensive teddy bear. where are all the fun daggy people?

jump for more......

utilities

when you break someone's heart you always shatter into pieces yourself. today was spent in a delirious daze of sobbing uncontrollably, whimpering in bed, manically dialing and hanging up, and finally letting the call get through and letting everything out in one outburst that became a mild panic attack where my body contorted and i couldn't breath. i can't begin to image what he is going through.

you do tend to think about the beginning, don't you? you can't help it, and you start pin pointing all the precise moments you screwed it up. some screw ups bigger than others. some are unforgivable and causes the kind of regret that ties up your intestines and makes you want to rip out your insides. and knowing that there is absolutely nothing i can do, but beg and cry.

i had my rally team of cheer me ups. high fidelity, mean girls, by the time i got to clueless i feel relatively ok again, to get myself to the point where i can come to accept the consequences, and accept my lot.

it changes you. each time it changes you a little. a little bit more resilient, or patient maybe? i owe so much to him, his energy, the constant wanting of bettering himself. but personality changes too, tastes. carnivale, all the noir we watched the books we shared. he fueled my unhealthy appetite of moleskines with noodler's ink, penguin reds, buying paperbacks, trolling JB, ikea, borders.. we did so many nothings that were all just perfect. i was collecting pieces of a new life, things that make me feel like i'm finally living for myself, but with him, and i'm pretty sure he was too.

there's a soreness of wanting the past to restore itself, and knowing that even if we were still together, nothing would be the same. feel like the biggest fool. i just want to be a part of his life.

i need a break

jump for more......

Dating Quiz

remember the OkCupid! Dating personality test i did almost two years ago?

well since they've updated the test this year, and my situation has changed since then as well, i thought i'll take it again.



The Wild Rose
Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLD)

Colorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose.

Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.

You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective.

The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.


"You're never truly single as long as you have yourself."

ALWAYS AVOID: The Bachelor (DGSM)

CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail (RBLM).

Do this quiz yourself.

jump for more......

I'm Not There

Cate Dylan is going to rock my world. From the director of Velvet Goldmine (and we all know what a panty creamer that was), comes a poetic retelling of the life of Bob Dylan, played by Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Heath Ledger, Ben Wishaw (the guy from Perfume) and some 11 year old black kid. All as Dylan. Are you kids ready?

In other movie news, not only is Rescue Dawn, the hollywood version of Little Dieter Needs to Fly already completed, according to imdb the release date is set to 6 Sept down over our way. Why herzog would want to make a hollywood version of his own doco is beyond me, but it's by him and starring christian bale so my life is complete.

i need to upload some photos, but not tonight because i just can't be fucked. dean's birthday drinks, jazz's birthday drinks, photos of maya at red door burlesque. The combined efforts of both dean and myself in the camera pimping of maya is getting obscene. but hey, i was never one for holding back.

i have an insane amount of free time on my hands. which would normally be a good thing considering essays being due and all that jazz, but all it ends in is the stereogum mp3 player on the side menu on your left, a comment box on my myspace, and flickr and last.fm goodies on my facebook. oh and buying new lamps from ikea. $15 and standing tall and pretty, you can't go wrong.

***
a life in nicknames. 5 nicknames i've been given throughout my life which they considered endlessly ingenious and i just sat there slightly bemused

1. Bitchy: 1998. Not because i was a bitch, but apparently for two years Barry had been referring to me as Bitchy because he thought it sounded like my chinese name. we were 13, all i could come up for him was the blackberry

2. A-Lice: 1998. Niuniu seriously loved this and used it extensively. Why didn't i fight back goddammit? i mean her name was Niuniu Ma for christ's sake. we did proceed to create the whole Aunty Knickeres, Neice Kickers craze. extention class or no, math was still just plain dull.

3. Queenie/Queenster. 2003. Created to complete the Tregsie, Carilious trio. We were a good team. i miss those days

4. QinE. 2006. While Wenyi was overseas, a love stricken James started im-ing me about how perfect this was. exact quote "it's procrustes' attempt to write Chinny on msn. it's perfect because it's really just your name + extra letter. It even has the australian provincial ring to it"...yes james...

5. Chinny-chin-chin. 2007. while standing around in a circle outside puggs, a slightly tipsy and stoned adam uttered this, which was followed by uncontrollable tipsy and stoned giggling by all, and then hungry jacks. I hate that this can never happen again, and I hate the person who caused this for making it so. Somebody fix this, if only for my purely selfish reasons.

***

jump for more......

Parallel Synchronized Randomness

lying here in my bed at 1pm on a day on a day that i have uni. i should really go to my blake tute. but the guilt of still not have done the necessary work for my tute presentation the day after compelled me to stay home and do the work now, just as i am here blogging. there just isn't enough time. what with the opening of the spanish tonight and my silly plans for after work and the dreams of my breakfastblog huntings the morning after. everything's off the books. well, except for work.

how do you know when you're just settling? when things you want and expect just doesn't exist in your world, do you just accept the hand you're dealt with knowing full well you chose the game? going through the motions of the everyday, it's hard to believe that i am the same girl who just a year ago swore to herself that she won't ever settle again, that she's finally content with her lot.

this blog began with the chronicling of the bits and pieces that helped me get to that stage again. September 2005 when i stepped out trembling and alone. For all the therapy this outlet has provided, it really is a steaming pile of byproducts from the neither regions. and now days i keep clicking on the "+new post" button and staring at the blinking bar in the empty box and nothing. my head is the blinking bar in the empty box. i'm moving on, i've passed my blogging prime. long rants and rambling prose was never really my scene anyway. i am entirely contentless.

perhaps i would write here again, when i start getting some feelings back into my fingers. this would always be my portal. i daresay the twitter and flickr badges would get updated often, and the other various rss-liciousness. but this is the temporary shut down of the Looking Glass.

***

i'm an dirty liar. or just a perpetual regretist. moment i make a decision i have to take it back. there's still enough outpourings of the heart in me, hysterical and incomprehensible as they may be. when i try to rationalise everything into Courier New it stops making sense in my head. Halvetica perhaps?

i'm getting hungry again, i'm going out for some lunch, maybe i'll feel better then.

***

I like your boobs. They're very friendly and unpretentious.
- Stephane "Science of Sleep"

jump for more......

quickie before work

i just wanted to make a not that i managed to waste 2 hours on THIS today without realising and was almost late to work.

i am TEH suck

but try it. it's all kinds of addictive.

oh and sorry about the down time. i was trying to port this to riceingenue.com my newly aquired domain name, but it's taking a while...

you can go to ricep0d.com for my tumblelog. there's nothing on it yet. but you just wait...

i also bought magnetsanswerall.com for cary. anytime you wanna use it for anything boy, just shout

jump for more......

real life in 3D

ok already!

it's not about having a life, it's about actually doing things with my time and not being tied to the computer. so here it is, liquid crystal pixel ink to my virtual paper. a post, aghast!

failed my p's today.

like seriously. i suck. not only did i wait til a good half a year after i turn 21 to even attempt to put all those motoring skills to the test i had to suck at it. granted the most suckiest of reason to fail EVAH. it was all fine, we were cruising along, and i was doing GREAT. and on the way back, about 2 minutes from the end destination, i was just sitting there in the driver's seat thinking to myself... "is this a 50 zone? or a 60? it looks big enough and non-residential enough to be a 60, and they're all 60s around here...hmm...i'm going too slow then..." and grrrrr...up the speedometer

*tap tap* on the shoulder
"erm...can you pull over please."

SERIOUSLY! I FAILED FOR SPEEDING! OF ALL THINGS. THIS MAKES ME ANGRY. ALL CAPS KINDA ANGRY.

enough of that. Australia's Next Top Model was very cleansing. especially since i wasn't really watching and only looked at the pictures at the end. i can't believe the entire cast of Will and Grace are on Inside the Actor's Studio. Megan's voice is so normal, it's insanely disconcerting.

horrifying dream last night. and i was so aware that i was in a dream and was desperately trying to wake myself up. it was bizarre. i tried to run and it was kind of like running in water, so then i started banging my hand against my head and nothing. (i did acknowledge for a moment how amazing it was that i actually felt nothing and that all those cliches about pinching yourself were oddly true). it took a little while but i eventually did scare myself awake. that was a surreal moment, i couldn't be sure if i was awake awake and couldn't shake the dream off me. i can still remember everything so vividly.

***
RETURN OF THE FIVES
***

5 things ticking me off RIGHT now

1. william blake
2. the internet still not working on my new shiny new phone
3. i'm always either too cold or too warm. why can't i be warm blooded?
4. there's no chips in the house
5. i should be asleep by now

my eyelashes were fierce today. i want to try the new diorshow blackout mascara.

i want to read more. and absorb things without worrying about assessment. i want this whole uni thing to be over.

i need some sleep.

the science of sleep was awesome. if anyone is on my list (you know, the list of celebrities you can fuck without it being counted as cheating) gael garcia bernal is on it.

i want to be elsewhere...


***
list of celebrities i'd like to fuck without it being counted as cheating
***

1. the depp man
2. miss scarlett + mr. hartnett
3. gael garcia bernal
4. ryan mickey mouse club gosling
5. jonathan rhys meyers. just because he seems like he'd be really really good in bed in that asshole kind of way. you know?
supps:
milla, would not say no to her.
that guy who was not benji but was the runner up in 'so you think you can dance 2'.
natalie portman, although i'd feel bad after.

jump for more......

plum sauce pork ribs

work at palace has been really good. they've been giving me a lot of shifts, which could either mean that they are really really under staffed, or that i haven't screwed up too big yet! either way, yay for me! the world is wonderfully small though. i won't bore you with the deets but needless to say, many people turns out to be friends of friends and i went to school with two of the girls...blah blah blah prawn crackers!

seriously prawn crackers, we got them for free with out take away order today. Red Hot Wok on Toorak Rd, South Yarra; tasty food, tiny servings, but free prawn crackers! seriously they do pizza hut like deals with soft drinks it's kinda strange. and all the waiters are uniformly unfriendly. no one smiles in that place. ever. it kinda scares me.

since i'm rambling. i really want to do this. i'm in need of more hard drive space, and i think i have a large skine that's not getting enough use i could cut up...

along with my stupid sickness, and general lack of energy, my room has accumulated a collection of drink bottles, cups, scrunched up tissues, clothes, laundry, uni stuff, and a corner where the boy always dumps his stuff. just today he looked at me lying on my bed and said
"what's that corn doing on your bed head?"
i think i need to do a massive clean out soon. and i can start bringing my books home. i've been missing my babies.

i don't think very much anymore. which is why this blog is becoming rambling updates and not much else. i don't know how to think anymore. if anyone has any ideas for a ready made essay on blake shoot it my way. it's making my head hurt. and it really really hurts.

oh oh yes the boy turned 21. he looks the same, acts the same, threw up once, cut his finger and crawled into my arms, and quit a job. well on his way i daresay. photos of all shenanigans on my flickr. for all you losers who missed it, there was a lot of drinking, choofing, and sneaking hungry jacks into the pub (you're welcome rhys). word has it, a good time was had by all. oh by the way, the photo of mel's boobs on the first page of my flickr is getting so many hits it's ridiculous. like 60 as opposed to the 2 or 3 of all the rest.

actually he is at amber's 21st right now, or should be on his way here by now. i think i hear him!

*hitting publish*

20 minutes later...

no no, he's not coming for a good while yet. he says next half hour. but what's the bet? 2am? any takers? i'm saying at least 2, maybe 2:30. maybe i'll lie in bed and watch streetcar and revel in the fact that at least he's nothing like stanley. and how hot brando was, and vivian leigh, nutter as she was.

gling glo, can't help loving that man of mine

jump for more......

strawberry cookie shakes

whenever i have essays due, i become such a geek. i start signing up to things and cleaning up my bookmarks toolbar, and because a productivity guru.

i got Jaiku working today. which pulls things from my twitter, both things i got working with my mobile today. so you can all stalk me, i'll be sure to twitter exactly what i'm doing all the time, and people on jaiku can see it too, jaiku is also pulling my blog posts from here, as well as my flickr photos. my blog posts are also being pulled into my facebook. i also signed up for tumblr for a tumblelog. which i can upload videos i find on to and don't have to burden this blog with crap like that which according to darren is just useless crap anyway. i'll link you once i post something. but since it's a steram of consciousness type low key blog i feel it's probably going to be used a hell of a lot pretty soon. you can check out merlin mann's and also leo laporte's to get an idea of what it'll be like.

Other than that. big news shot through the cultural world today. Kurt Vonnegut died. which is all kinds of sad. i barely got through slaughterhouse 5 (even though it's the shortest book ever) but it was mainly because it was making me uncomfortable. just slightly unsettling. each time a "so it goes" pops up i'd get shivers up my spine. RIP kurt. so it goes

I got a job yesterday. Palace cinemas called me tuesday when i was in the middle of what would probably be the busiest line at a post office counter ever, i was unfortunately at the wrong end of the counter. but i called them back and they told me they were impressed by my resume. but i mean how could they not? they couldn't ask for more experience, or any closer. only problem was that i threw out my last pair of contacts before checking if i had any left and so after a mad scramble looking for the non-existent spare lenses (searching becomes an endlessly more tedious task while half blind) i tried to make myself as presentable as i could imagine without really looking in a mirror and went to an interview staring at the two little black dots on a face which i hoped were his eyes. but the interview was dead easy, i think they gave me the job before i even went in to meet them. they should be giving me a call soon for a first shift, he said probably this weekend just to get things started. i'm so excited. palace como has to be probably the best cinemas ever. and free tickets? say whoa?

i'm pretty screwed for these essays though. the blake class shits me so much that i don't even like to open up the book. there's a lot of work to be done the next few days. i'll try not to twitter or jaiku or tumlelog too much.

speaking of which, i should probably dive right in again.

oh wait! i went and saw The Lives of Others today and it was aaaawesome. incredible story, and the characters are all so great. i WILL definitely review it properly. this one at least. (oh wow....i need to review like 14 movies...)

jump for more......

musical humps

as covered by alanis morissette



i'd be scared too if it weren't so damn funny

and and



you remember that song in DDR? No Limit? well here's bjork drunk and covering it. omg look at her little arms swinging in that kimono.

jump for more......

wonder

this is the new maroon 5 video. it's unbelievably poppy, almost boyband-y. and for some sick reason i find ridiculously catchy. plus Adam Levine still looks kinda dreamy, and i like men in suits.

why did i post a fast connection only version? well i'm a lazy bitch who cbf looking for the youtube embed url and it looks prettier in this more demanding version...live with it

oh oh and



a sneak peek at the new spoon "Don't You Evah" at sxsw. damn i wish i could go one year. it sounds like such a blast

jump for more......

bedroom bound

instead of writing the 12 movie reviews that i haven't done yet, i decided to add a song to this blog, and get rid of the clunky flash player (which wasn't working anyway) and instead found this handy little playtagger. go on then, click on the little blue play button, nifty eh? all with just one line of code, so neat.

i've moved back home almost a full week now, i still don't have all my things though. the boy has graciously brought back most of the things i desperately need, and my room feels less burdened by all the crap that...well...i don't need.

gah, i need time to do all these ghastly readings. it's getting on my nerves again.

there are photos on my flickr page if anyone cares to go look. i've added a Narcissism pane to my sidebar since shit about myself was really cluttering up my links.

in a blegh mood today. much like the way my head feels. i'll check back in when i'm done feeling like crap

ps/ 5 things that make me giddy

1. the giant breakfast he cooked for me the other day: 2 sausages, 2 rashers of bacon, 2 eggs scrambled AND pancakes. it was insane

2. that he tucked me in to bed last night before leaving. made me feel all small and loved. both things i value

3. that he brought back heart shaped biscuits for me from work. i love that he steals for me

4. that he got out of work to go watch perfume with me. and that he downloaded the marie antoinette soundtrack for me thus giving me theme music.

5. just how much he loves me


the boy is angry at me today for the amount of cyber flirting that's been carrying on. to be honest i don't actually think any of my messages can constitute as flirting, but in his words "if i deem them to be bullshit then it's bullshit". he's really angry in fact, and has been all day. i don't know how to make it better. i don't know if there's anything i can do.

i think i just have to wait for him to come back to me.

jump for more......

alethiometer

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

i have never been more excited about a movie.

what is possible THE BEST children's books ever,
His Dark Materials are books i hold the dearest to my heart. books that i read and reread all throughout highschool and more or less set my mind for the rest of my life on topics of organised religion, life, maturity, sexuality, sin, pleasure, love, everything. there has never been a book i've enjoyed more, in both intellectual content and pure adventure.

i'm not even going to type properly i'm so excited. i mean sure, the casting is a little iffy. i'd always imagined someone with a really long neck for lord asriel, not mr no neck bond. and sure, we could do without a young child star named Dakota Blue. but zomfg! this is going to be the best movie ever!!!

from heart ripping page turning goodness of the first book to the epic battle between the church and the authority Vs. everyone for a Republic of Heaven, these books will blow your mind.

Philip Pullman is really THE master storyteller. while being a gripping yarn for the kids, he never talks down to the audience, and the most complex ideas i have ever had to grapple with were presented plainly in the midst of the greatest adventure story. the characters, i would happily give my life for the Iorek, or lee scorsbey, or indeed, lyra.

just...just....read it!!

ps/ the clip is just a teaser, the animation is in no way finished yet so don't worry about the crappy rendering

pps/ and yes, these are the books that made me foolishly run around oxford a whole day looking for jordan college. i realise now that it's fictional, and based on exeter college, which, i actually went to in my search. so i'm happy.

jump for more......

i'm sitting here at the computer wondering if

1. i should do something about this slow as ass internet connection

2. i should go out and start handing out resumes like it's going out of style

3. if i signed up for Virb, if anyone would join me.


it's seriously a pretty site. and looks a lot more powerful than myspace or facebook. but three social networking sites really is overkill.

about the other thing.

yesterday when i packed up everything and i was waiting for the boy to pick me up, i sat there in my living room and felt sick to my stomach about leaving. and now that i'm here, so much further away from everything than i'm used to...i don't know. it's not a mistake because i needed this push, but let's get me back into the crazy hubbub where you can't see the stars and there are 48 places to eat 5 minutes away.

i'm such a pathetic city girl

make me happy by all joining virb? haha no you don't have to.

i'm going downstairs to watch more of the american office. i'm bringing pa goriot with me and no one can stop me. no one can stop me from doing anything.

hey...i feel much better

jump for more......

independence day

so officially, as of 14 March 2007 at 12:00p.m. your's truly left home. not unprovoked i might add. an imac G5 is now without a screen and many accumulated little pieces of junk has been scattered across all sections of the bedroom. photos have been torn up, broken glass everywhere. behold gladies, the wrath of Mrs. Qin

so until further notice, i shall be situated at residence of the boy. thus turning lazy alice, back into commuter alice. it is however, still cramped corners in house gubbins, so my horde of adoring fans, please be my eyes and ears and be on the lookout for a room in/near the city/uni. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

i'm looking out this window and i see...hope? a future? fair weather?

just some birds and some washing on the laundry line.

i'll get there though. don't you worry yourself about me.

i was camera whoring the night before it happened. so unwittingly, my "girl with sleeping boy story" has become "the last night" in my room.

jump for more......

Guilty Pleasures

I've been a terrible webstress. i'm terribly sorry. there ain't much to excuse my behaviour. I haven't been particularly busy, or anything less than lazy.

Most of you know by now that in between posts i got my self some kind of inked



and in anticipation of any faq's yes the meaning is three-fold
1. it's my initials. for at least the two outer corners of my name
2. i wanted the queen of hearts for alice in wonderland. "Off with'is 'ead!"
3. it also makes 21 in blackjack (now i know some of you scoff at this as a reason to get a tatt, but think, i'll always remember when i got it right?)

I saw two burlesque shows, spent valentines with a group of fun loving people, went to junkyard cinemas a few times, went to rooftop once, saw a whole bunch of movies that i still need to review properly.

oh and young carilious turned 22



rio (john) who shares the same birthday came to celebrate too. it was a dirty night at a nasty asian rnb club as promised, and carilious went home wasted as promised.

***

Uni started. and for some reason (my lack of communication with admin) i got stuck doing only two subjects this semester. which means i lose my concession, and my will to live. drats. but ho! this means a whole semester of nothing but Blake and C18th crime literature! i can feel the blood rushing back into my head!

and good news my friends. you all know my own personal hero (read: demi-god) felicity colman? well out of the goodness of her heart, some sexual favours and probably a lot of wanting to keep her subjects open, she's decided to award me an h2a for a subject i didn't write a final essay on. she is now elevated to the level of appreciation i reserve for porn stars only in my heart.

speaking of porn stars. ladies and gentleman, is maria ozawa not the most beautiful specimen of the dirty kind alive?
(this woman does hardcore!)

google her yourself you pervert (start by clicking the picture)

i hope you are all well. comment a little so i know you still love me and forgive me for all my misgivings. and i'll check back again. soon. for reals.

a make-up list
5 things alice is loving at the moment

1. the cookies and cream ice-cream in her freezer
2. old goriot
3. NOT the class that's making her read old goriot. lit girls are idiots
4. the boy's guitar lying next to this couch reminding her that he was trying to play classical pieces she used to play on the piano
5. finally getting a blog post out

***

and since this is all on guilty pleasures. here's a secret guilty pleasure of mine. joss stone. i don't know what it is about her. her pretentious bare foot performances, her all american soul mama voice cracked into pieces that only 20 years of cigarette smoking knows how, the fact that she's a 19 years old white girl from kent notwithstanding, i don't get it either. but here she is in funky technicolour and legs that come up to ^here.



i was debating over whether to post this video (i know none of you would enjoy) or a bruce willis performance involving a white trench coat, some glasses that needs explaining, a rock band and a harmonica. but that might be a little too scary to jump back into the saddle with.

until next time.
aq out

jump for more......

that girl and the drum n bass

i'm sorry about all the delays. i'm just feeling lazy all over. i have lazy in my skin. i have photos to upload but my internet is being an abusive lover giving and taking at its own goddamn random will.

and given the choice to either snuggle up to sugar cubes and watch twin peaks or writing the (now count them!) FIVE movie reviews i have lined up of course i'm going to choose the option with less requirement of trying to string words together.

so to simplify things. a teaser list

5 movies - 5 words

Pan's Labyrinth ***1/2 brutal, whimsy, mandrake!!, ugly, charming

The Fountain **1/2 confusing, dull, mayans, pretty, WTF?!

Stranger Than Fiction **** graphicy, quirky, huckabees, awesomeness, rofl

Pursuit of Happyness *** predictable, freshprince, cutekid, uplifting, reassuring

For Your Consideration ***1/2 cosy, awkward, extras, chillaxin', parkerposeyonewomanshow'd!!!


there you go folks. there's going to be a better post soon. i'm sure of it.

and i'm sorry yoyo.

jump for more......

teaser

MASSIVE blog update coming soon

i'm talking HUUUUUGE, gargantuan

with what is it now....three missing fives? and one movie review and lots of photos.

hold steady my pretties

jump for more......

My Little Corner Of The World

I have a new movie review up!! i saw Babel (finally) a few nights ago and poo poo'd it. go read what i said, comment, tell me how stupid i'm being and how i should really give movies a chance before deeming it the most useless, uncomfortable, trivial piece of pretty cinema.

on to happier things. i'm in a cheerier sort of mood, i think there's a chance for me yet. i'm cleaning out my room one little bit at a time, it's amazing what a clean room does to your outlook.

in actual happenings the hermapolitian ogdoad chaser dean was making a short for tropfest on monday and i was there for him as Girl 1. i've been told that it's completed, so i'm itching to go and take a lookie, maybe check out some more of his broccoli porn.

aaah, i feel all cruisy. maybe it's time for this week's fives

5 things i'm craving RIGHT NOW

- chilli fries
- my own troubadour who travels around with me and sings about my life
- starting on a new book
- a night at some horrifying asian club playing inane rnb
- a peach...ooo i have one right here

jump for more......

summer drive

back from the beach. total sightings of beach? oh, a few glimpses here and there. total amount of time spent on the beach? nudda. the closest we got was the safeway across the street. it was beautiful though. a lot of lying around watching movies we've already seen even though both of us took down a whole bunch of movies we really should be watching. he played a lot of golf, i stayed in and finished reading Perfume. which by the way, the ending blew my mind in more ways i care to share.

he took me driving, it was interesting. i think i like the rolling much better than the accelerate, and the road is preferable to the bushes surrounding the road, i must take a note of that for future references.

i didn't take any pictures for a change, it was much more relaxed than that this time, and we were far too naked for far too much of the time for an actual record of our sojourn.

for now a record of movies that we watched would do: (in place of this week's list)

The Man Who Wasn't There
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Pretty In Pink
Rebecca
Citizen Kane
(half of) Brazil
The Royal Tenenbaums

I've decided to fire up my movies reviews again. once i start going to the cinema that is. i'll try to write a review of every movie i watched in a cinema in 07 as well as going back and reviewing a few old favourites i mention on this thing. i'm sure five movies in i'll give up but i can only dream.

jump for more......

(away)

going to the beach

back on saturday

jump for more......

NYE06

just a quick update everyone. HAPPY NEW YEAR! i have a feeling this is going to be a decent year. what did i do? WELL... there was of course, cokeboy's smashing party (the Dean-A-Palooza) which included some bbq action, a little backyard sports and a game of pin the glasses on the dean. (my only regret is that i forgot to take a photo). I've uploaded a selection of photos on flickr. go take a lookie here.



didn't really take a lot of photos. there was these great shots of dean by the bbq that if you flicked them back and forth it looked like he's dancing, but since i don't have image ready on this computer and the boy's sleeping and it's dark here and i really can't be bothered, i didn't make a gif image. however i do believe this following video more than makes up for it.



in between we went to one of the boy's friend's pool party where there were a lot of half naked boys and sticky floors and bad music. i got scared fast and pulled a totally plastered darren back up to dean's place where we were treated to the 80s movie version of Transformers, Mario Bros. the TV series and a live action HEMAN!

much fun was had (all except for some half hour when the boy went missing, actually he went missing twice and we had to send out a search party. drunk darren likes to explore)

I wrote down some resolutions, but since i'm sitting in a corner of my bedroom trying not to disturb sleeping darren i won't go looking for them. basically involved getting a job, getting my license, and getting a direction.

Happy New Year everyone, I hope you're all ready for 07, it's going to be huuuuuge!

jump for more......