eye candy

this is a happier linky tech-savy post.

this is a fake, but it's such a pretty fake. if the impending iPhone would look anything like this then i'm going to get my grubby hands on it no matter what it cost.


and DodCopenhagen has put together a list of the top 50 music videos for the year, there's a lot of good stuff here, except for the god forsaken gnarls barkley's effing Crazy, which despite what i put on my Myspace, would always remind me of 2006, best accompanied with some fat kid dancing to it



but then there's some gems. i didn't know death cab's I'll Follow You Into The Dark had a video, that song certainly got overplayed on my iTunes a bit. same goes for the cat power video. Oh and the El Perro Del Mar song, i've only just realised the entire song has a total of two lines. I like her voice better than i like the actual music i think.

an of course there just some awesome awesome videos that'll be good to inspire any budding filmmaker, perhaps someone hoping to make some shorts very soon, perhaps for tropfest maybe, dean ashton i'm looking at you. so go to the link and click them all!

now i'll finish off with

it's like a more interesting stan brakhage. i always said the only thing mothlight lacked was some lounge music.

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tidings

After finishing an utterly unsatisfying 2006 round-up survey on myspace, i thought i'll come spread some love on my blog. What with it being Friday and all. and i've missed last week's list too. so you'll get a double whammy this time round.

what did 2006 do for me? i still haven't come to terms with it been 2006 and now we're slowly creeping into 07. i still can't stand the fact that i've lived 21 years in this world. false hopes. i had a lot of false hopes, right from the start of the year and dragging it's own pathetic self all the way to the end. i also walked into uni with the belief that this year was going to be different. well everything was different, i finally saw through the academic game and decided too late that i hated it. well no actually, i didn't care enough about it to make a decision either way. i just kept going to half the classes and not doing any of the work. i stopped considering what i was learning and started judging the credibility of everything thrown at me.

i pulled myself out of the little corner i scared myself into, only to be crawling along the back wall and clasping tightly on the friendly faces. all the while being absent. i'm still as awkward as i ever was, now with the added self-doubt on top of the self-consciousness and self-analysis. i'm slowly losing control over my temper, without fixing the problem of becoming dreadfully inarticulate when incensed. the nightly round of waterworks is back with a vengeance, it's comforting when i have a pair of arms clamped around me but more often than not it's not here. in a lot of ways i'm much the same as last year, mostly the same opinions, judgements, self-loathing. but then again i can't just write this year off.

There's the boy, who is so unaffectedly beautiful that it kills me to be without him for even a second. but then i get all caught up in my own personal tragedy and i push him away, just so i can indulge in my misery. it's pretty pathetic. and if he acts in a way short of what i hoped he would i start pushing him away again just so i can indulge in my indignity. which is even more pathetic. i still need to get my head around the fact that while i see him as my lifeline, he's not in such a crisis and needs other distractions than my suffocating cries.

and there's all the other people, you've met them in my links panel. they've helped me maintain a facade of sanity. and i've only just realised, holy crap these are friends that i actually choose! and since i seem to make a habit of pushing away everyone who i'm not absoclutely in love with i'm left with quite a selective bunch. i'm opening applications for friends for 07 right now, sign up people, good(/bad) films and philosophical(/inane) conversations await you!

there are certainly some bright spots in my temple of gloom, the import thing is to concentrate on those and forget the others right? well i'm sorry if it's not coming along as easily as i'd hoped but i'm trying. for the moment though, the less i think the better.

so. now i owe you two lists

5 goals

- to continually write something so that i'll have something substantial to show at the end of the year
- to keep hacking and hopefully make some leeway on this acting thing that's not really taking off
- to continually love and adore the boy and making him see just how important he is to my world that something like the fight we had the night of the 15th would never happen again
- to get my p's
- to loose three kilos

5 scenes in 2006

- veronika, bar 20, private room
- horrendously cold cafe in the early early a.m's that bore witness to what could possibly be the most awkward and best first kiss ever
- thursday of that week. he knows why
- second morning at beach house, he was still sleeping, i sat by his side reading Sweet Bird of Youth
- sprawled across my living room carpet clutching the phone and barely breathing, nida had just delt me with a blow and he was angry at me, my world shattered into insignificant pieces

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peace on earth

I'm sitting here watching crap on TV. there's Sandra Sally doing a promo spot for House M.D. there is something so very wrong with hearing that typically deep newscaster's voice calling some old guy with a limp sexy.

I hope everyone had a good christmas. had enough food, got enough loot, enough boozing. this one week leading up to the new year will be the week of atonement. making peace with the past year and getting myself geared up for 07. there's a whole lot of crap going on inside my head right now that i don't particularly feel like airing so publicly here right now, maybe later on some hidden jump. i'm not making life easy for the people around me, that much's for sure. i'm taking a slight emotional break until january 2nd.

but right now there's The Book Of Love on Showtime. with Simon Baker, who i never noticed before but has this very earthy sensuality about him. The fact that his skin and hair and oh his eyes, reminds me so much of the boy, that can't hurt. he was quite dashing in The Devil Wears Prada as well. yes yes it finished downloading a few days ago and i watched it while making wontons with my mum. very pretty crap.

speaking of which, the boy's just messaged me that he's coming over and i should put a few wontons on for him. happy new year everybody.

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humbugs

things to do:

[] to read:
- Perfume
- Spot of Bother
- The Three Bears
- On The Road
- Catch-22
- The Great Gatsby
- Sense and Logic

[] get a job

[] get drivin'

[] finish this list



omg i want this table. it's the devil table!

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carve my turkey

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float on

today kinda sucks. kinda sucks hard.

5 things i want for christmas

1. a freak thunderstorm in kensington, nsw
2. the hope that everything only gets better
3. somethin' cute. maybe a little handbag, maybe some summer dresses.
4. a little energy, to get me going again
5. the iphone. january couldn't come sooner

5 steps out of my slum

1. finish reading love in the time of cholera. i'm getting there
2. buy something entirely inappropriate and i totally can't afford
3. watch an insane amount of movies, it worked last year i'm sure it'll do again
4. ice cream. cake. get my waistline on the up and up again
5. catch up with people: watch shortbus with daphne, badger dean about his tropfest shorts, badger carilious to go clubbing with his girl, pull tregsie out sometime before she flies off again. and everyone else i've neglected over the year. if you're reading this, I'M AFTER YOU

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am back

merry christmas to all and to all a good night

/thanks to cokeboy for the link

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drop ins

hey peeps. mama screwed up a firmware update on lappy and took him into shop. and as we're speaking they're stripping lappy of its plastic to make him all bright and new and *shock horror* WHITE again.

no more posts until mama gets lappy back

or let's make it easier.

no more posts til next friday. 8 days to go!

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