bah humbug

obligations, stupid fucking obligations

and boy does it suck, specially when, when it comes down to it, you realise your life is pretty empty without it and so you actually NEED it just to have a reason to get out of the house. least i don't have to go to work monday.

Movies to watch, coz that's all that's important with boxing day right?: (will cross them out throughout the year)

Russian Dolls (i have double pass! just don't know when i can use it! TOOT)
King Kong + Domino + 40 yr old virgin marathon (coz that's always fun)
Narnia (much as i hate the message it sends, and tilda swinton, everything else looks fiiiine)
Brokeback Mountain (both david and margret gave it a 5...)
Goodnight and Good Luck (as above)
Match Point (a woody allen film that's not a woody allen film? can i hear a hallelujah?)
The Family Stone (i want diane keaton for a screen mum)
Breakfast on Pluto (scarecrow as a queen?)
Capote
The White Countess
Rumour has it
Syriana
History of Violence
Apocalypto (oh the teaser looks amazing)
Walk the Line
Chicken Little (i'm sucker for 3D crap)
North Country
Nine Lives
...

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shame on you

i'm utterly crushed by the level of response for the exercise. which only proves my theory, people do suck. you may still redeem yourself in my eyes to going back to my last post and doing it, but i'll remember, i'll always remember...

in other news, NIDA announced yesterday that they've accepted 12 people for the course next year. that's right, TWELVE!! makes me feel a whole lot better. i'm just one out of the 1870 something people who didn't make it. man...compared to the 25 they took in last year, craziness.

and i've moved on from my crazy apple love of safari, finally graduated to firefox 1.5, mainly because i wanted to try out all these web 2.0 stuff and safari isn't always supported. so i've set up a portal and i did a complete makeover of my bookmarks bar and installed the del.icio.us firefox entension, i'm good to go. take a lookie! all my news feeds, non sequitur, and quick links and a to do list, not a bad setup if i may say so myself. ajax rules all. but someone please tell me where the extension is that has the close tab button in each individual tab...it's the only thing stopping me from removing safari from my dock.

I've found the source of all the invisible man tests, it strange how i recognise film more for their tone and colour scheme than costumes which would be the obvious thing. i mean i missed electra's red body suit completely and yet i managed

a film by the way, i haven't actually watched.

go to it and try it out, it's great fun, and i'll always remember it fondly as the quiz that won me a copy of carrie for cheating.

i was channel surfing today and stopped dead on UKTV. on the screen was a 12 year old kiera knightly with a younger and quite dashing paul bettany (aka jennifer connoly's hubby and the imaginary guy from a beautiful mind who was also in that gastly wimbleton movie with that troll). and a frame later Peter O'Toole stepped in as the head of a family. It turned out to be a nice little english tv movie actually. with kiera knightly growing up to be emily mortimer (who i only know because i saw her on conan just the other night, however there are great things being said about her for the latest woody allen). anyway the point of this story is "Coming Home" (1998) is fun, if only to see a pre-pubescent knightly rejecting advances from an old perv. poor thing, being labelled as a sexpot before she ever grew into her body, or ever will it should seem, if anyone remembers the hole, the one she did with thora birch where she lets her pancake tits all out, you would agree with me

anyway, oh do do the exercise! please i beg of you! i know this sounds pathetic but hey, i'll stoop that low!

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restlessness

Basquait the movie was on sale at JB for 7.99

that makes me angry

when idiotic crap such as carmen electra's strip tease aerobics dvds come in four-parters that cost $30 a pop right next to the bargain bin. (which i really want by the way)

the combined brilliance of david bowie as andy warhol, dennis hopper, gary oldman, benicio del toro and they're just the supporting cast.

so ok i've only seen the opening sequence and the last 30 minutes of the actual film, but i know enough about it to know that it doesn't deserve a 7.99 label on it along with a pink sticker saying "buy me now i'm cheap!" slapped all over it.

ok this is another long one, waaaay long. all after jump


and i've updated my froogle wishlist, there's a link somewhere on my profile. (:edit: or just right there...) it's nearly christmas. damn, another year that i wish to remember none of. one of these days i'm going to do something big. maybe i'll finish that great american novel i've been meaning to write. yes i know i'm not american, but somehow that great australian novel sounds like it involves much tying down of kangaroos and eating of bush tucker, which is just SO not how i roll.

mondo e mondo should really be paying me royalties. that's the third time i've stood beside the moleskine stand for half an hour only to start spewing out to other people how great they are, then progressing to demonstrating all the little details memorised from moleskinery.com and pulling out the one i always have on me to show them how you can keep a pen in the elastic for the reporter styles which always results in me buying yet more cahiers because i've talked them up too much not to.

i think i'll go ahead and audition for national theatre down at st kilda. they're into method and, well, i have none. now if only daddy could give me my new years dough in advance i could go right on ahead and enrol. an additional 10 hours a week could be tough especially since i'm well, failing and all, but i think i figured out what's wrong with me, lack of anti-depressants! just sit me down with a shrink and shoot me up full of capped happiness and i'm open for business! either that or speed. it solved the problem for that kid in thumbsucker (for a little while anyway). aaaah speed, the miracle drug. help you lose weight and stay focused enough to get through the day, all that's missing is the ability to cure cancer and then everybody would be taking them! then it wouldn't be so hard to get some.



but seriously, that's the second indie i've seen in a row whereby the barely legal psych drugs solve all the problems. speaking of which. Shopgirl is brilliant. except for the voice over commentary. man i want to punch steve martin. The rest of the film is so great that the narration thing is....it's.....ARGH! like the trailer was the best movie trailer i've seen in a LOOONG time (aside for the harry potter one but that's just visual gusto) and the movie is actually what you expect it to be, but so much better at the same time. just like i <3 huckabees made me feel last year but with more resonance since there's an actual story at play. and that other thing in common, jason schwartzman, boy oh boy, what a greate character. the randomness. it also has that sense of desolation that was in lost in translation, except i actually like this the first time round. all except for the DAMN NARRATION. i mean ok, if the lines are good then fair enough, but when it's some crap like .....oh man i can't even remember them they're so generic. you're regular run of the mill "the girl you keep at a distance and in the end you're both hurt" or something, i'll watch it again and get back to you. but seriously, the forlorn looks aren't clues enough. it was almost like reading the da vinci code all over again. the spelt out metaphors.....*cringe* but still....good movie...i want to get my hands on a copy of the dvd with an editable soundtrack so i can remaster it for myself. it'll be a much better movie, with nothing lost either.

i finally rented the dreamers, and russian ark for the third time, maybe i'll get to see it this time. oh and oh personal breakthrough, i actually used the phrase "i'll save it for a rainy day" today. i couldn't help it it just came out. i am officially old.

:edit:
oh but how could i forget to mention! the other day i decided to go through devdas again (the newer one with all the eye candy). now i downloaded the film, cept it's not in any format that my dvd players or dvd burning programms that my mac understands. so i can watch it, just without the subs. so i basically just jumped to all the musical numbers. and i happily cried myself to sleep that night. i knew to cry because i've seen it before (several times actually) about only from half an hour into the movie (ALWAYS half an hour into the movie dammit). today it was on world movies again and so i excitedly jumped to the channel only to find that it was half an hour into the movie... so even though i know the story and the gist of things, truth is just imagin any forsaken tragedy of love and you've got the gist. but i still don't know the damn details. so i'll just cut through the crap. someone buy me a copy of the dvd. i don't want a burnt copy since, alas, like all bollywood movies it runs for over three hours and the compression would kill it. literally kill it. because by god is it beautiful. moulin rouge has got NOTHING on it. i mean ok you pour all your money and biggest stars into the one vehicle with the most retold story in a very lucrative industry you'd expect nothing else, but just wait till you see it.


ok so that's enough ranting/rambling. got work tomorrow. oh by the way, john butler actually moved to the area so he'll be in a lot from now on.


oh and let's do an exercise, i'll rip this right out of someone else's blog (who in turn ripped it out of someone else's blog, it's postmodernism with an olive) everyone who reads this blog who happens to also know me (rather than the usual net stumbler), post a memory you have of you, with me, a moment. it could be anything from the utterly humiliating to the higest of highs. see the theory is that different things are significant to different people, what you remember may not be something that i'd recall. so comment away, anonymously if you so wish, that could be part of the test! see if i remember your memory! i'm feeling in the mood for reminicence. and also i'd like to know just who reads this thing...

and therefore if no one replies to this.....erm...

"Pish for thee, Iceland dog, thou prick-eared cur of Iceland!!!"

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retail therapy

i bought myself a little happiness today :D that elise caarels bag? well since the donations were so slow in coming i dipped into my own funds... photos after jump. am so so happy



this is all the stuff i can fit into it in a test run, items include: a huge film subject reader, a clip folder, a complete copy of Little Murders photocopied, my organiser, a copy of Deleuze's Logic of Sense, my wallet, a mini mirrored makeup purse.






this is what the beautiful thing looks like with all my stuff in it.




and LOOK how much room there is left! and i put an extra water bottle in it too! and still, more space!! and there's a compartment for everything!! i love it i love it i love it!

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*sigh*

thank you for all your kind thoughts and messages. but alas, i didn't make it. but you know what? it's a good thing. i don't think i would've deserved it. i know NOTHING about that australian theatre scene. i haven't even gone to see the proposition yet (i'm not even a good cinema student).

they told me that i just had some text issues - i.e. i just started making it up, which they had a problem with. frankly i think tony just got bored of me (sorry i didn't know how elaine from seinfeld acted). i knew kevin probably fought for me a little but tony's boss.

it's ok, now i know. now i have the experience to know how to prepare for it next year. and kevin confirmed for me that he's given my details to the producers of that ayres film. if they call, YAY! if they don't, oh well...

now what the hell do i do about uni? i soooo need a break. i want to go travel. i NEED to be moving and not reading up and writing about things that i don't give a shit about. sure it's interesting, but fuck i just don't care anymore. i'm losing momentum. i'll talk to the mother about this...besides, i need to accumulate a whole bunch of life experiences to draw upon right?

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not long now...

only a couple more days until the second test...

so what do i do? keep wasting time.

i'll share with you here a list of my favourite time killers.

Olde English - a sketch show troupe who sometimes comes up with the goods, mostly just good ideas that get lost during the production, it's fun looking through them though

The Broken - there are only three eps, Kevin rose has gone on to do greater things, but these are funny, and geeky, and it's fun to watch krose swear. and the intro, man, that intro alone's worth the download lol.

Revision3 - and Kevin's two other shows, systm (a much geekier, indepth hacking thingamagig that i only watch coz well...i like to pretend that i understand it) and diggnation (i'm a strange strange person...)

and i haunt all the moleskine sites, 43folders, moleskinery, D.I.Y. Planning, PigPog. then i go back and read David Pogue's tech columns on the New York Times. and of course my daily haunts, the superficial, cool hunters, and the lately rediscovered fug yourself. all of these links can be found on my del.icio.us

aaah....that was a nice sharing and caring post. i feel better now

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holy mother of a long post

i have emailed G a detailed account of the audition, so detailed that it was infact over 2000 words. it's after the jump, i'm sure there are other's who would care to read it, if they're bored enough.


by the way, i've been on an australian film kick. i saw little fish tuesday night, and then wolf creek today. and i gotta say, the latest batch of aussie film makers make me proud to be an aspiring member of the industry. i won't say too much about little fish coz, well, cate blanchette, hugo weaving, sam neil, martin henderson, lisa mccune in a movie that treats asians just like any other member of australian society whereby their "asianness" is not touch on at all? need i say more?



but wolf creek today. now people who know me would know that i don't scare easy. i laugh at most horror flicks actually, and it's usually the shock tactics that gets me a little jumpy (exhibit A: the exorcism of Emily Rose). but man, i was truely terrified during wolf creek. it was the first movie where the entire theatre (albeit a quite, pretty empty one) gave one huge collective sigh once the credits started rolling. seriously it was a very loud exhale from EVERYONE. greate build up of suspence. it got to the point where i was glad one of the protagonists got killed because it meant no more drawn out torture for her or for me. good good stuff.


email to G:

ALL the details? ok here goes, the blow by blow. i haven't been able
to go through this with anyone so it would be ridiculously detailed, i
would highlight the major events but i don't know how to in gmail and
i suck at html. i'll try and do paragraphs =P

so...the audition was on tuesday (smack in the middle of exam week) at
the ballet centre. i walked up all scared and i see this group of
people sitting there talking about all their past acting experience.
so incredibly intimidating. This one girl (absolutely beautiful,
looked like a young audrey hepburn) was telling everyone how she's
been living in south africa for the past six years and how she a
"commercial actress", as in she does ALL the commercials for south
africa and international and how horrible it was to see her own face
plastered around everywhere. yeah she was real pretty, but i wanted to
smack her head in. Oh and it was real fun hearing about all these
other people who's auditioning for the third year running, and
outlining the process they went through to prepare for it since they
were 10. so here i was standing there in the room feeling so out of
place and completely out of my depth, but then again i'm cocky,
acting's supposed to be a natural talent right?

eventually there were about 30 odd people who showed up, and we were
herded into one of the studios. there were four judges, two were
tutors at NIDA, one was a first year student and the other was an old
grad. then one of the tutors, Kevin, gave us a speech on how difficult
the audition process would be, and even if we did get in how difficult
life at nida would be, and that if we ever wanted to be employed we'd
better quit now because most actors don't work.

so after that delightful news we did some warm ups and vocal exercises
and got split into two groups, half stayed in the studio with one of
the tutors and the first year student and the other half went to a
studio next door with the other tutor and the grad. the tutor's do
most of the judging, the other two are just there if you need someone
to perform to in the scene.

how it was supposed to work was we all do one of our monologues first,
then after the whole group's finished we switch rooms and do our
second monologue with different judges. then they make their decision
and only 8 people would actually get to do their third. so we had to
make our shakespeare one of the first two. and lucky me i got to go
second. i sat through the first girl's performance and kept telling
myself "look, she's not moving much, her body's stiff, she's losing my
interest, i must be better than her", the judge stopped her half way
and made some suggestions and wham it was my turn.

oh by the way i did beatrice from much ado. i wailed, i cried, i
poured my poor little heart out and i went all the way through without
her stopping me. then she suggested that Ivan the first year come up
with me and i do it all again but to him this time. so, i directed all
my wailing and crying to him (who by the way was completely
non-responsive. i hit him and nothing, i pushed him and nothing. he
was as wooden as that harry potter kid in the first film) she then
stopped me halfway and told me that beatrice was a smart woman, start
again. i was stuck in the "huh?" mode and i wasn't sure what the hell
she meant so i cried a little less, and yelled at the poor boy rather
than the wailing. she said, yes good. and i had to go sit down. a
couple of others did beatrice too, cept they were a lot calmer, in
fact they were right on boring. how anybody could stand up and say "O
God that i were a man!" dispassionately is beyond me. so i was feeling
pretty good about myself, thinking, ok that was a tad much but at
least i got her attention.

so the second monologue. Mrs Erlynne from Lady Windermere's Fan. Yes a
forty year old woman. but i figured, she keeps pretending she's
29-30, i'm 20, so our age gap is actually about the same just that i'm
going the other way. Kevin didn't ask too much to begin with so i just
did my thing. then he asked me why i picked it. Now, i blabber a lot
when i'm nervous, and while i wasn't nervous during the monologue, i
was about answering that question. i said something about having to
pick something by Oscar Wilde and he asked me "didn't you know about
the wonderful proposal scene?", my mind was thinking "which goddamn
play had a wonderful proposal scene?" so i said "well i wanted
something mature and withheld and held-back and muted and
well...mature"

pathetic eh? generally people stop me when i'm blabbering but he
didn't so i had to keep going. and so i felt awful. The rest of my
group improved vastly this time round too. And he had a special
affinity with shakespeare. stopped people a lot to get the rhythm
right. talked a lot about how the main thing is to tell their story,
and it's all in the language. people don't go to see acting, so as an
actor you do all your homework, then you forget it. don't fidget,
don't move around too much, stand still and let the language tell its
story. he was really great actually. but anyway, then the judges all
got together to make their cut.

we got back into the room, all 30 of us. and i sat near the door ready
to go. Kevin then gave another speech, this time about acting in
general. Basically that we, as aspiring actors wanting to work in
Australia, should be watching australian television no matter how
crap, and watching australian movies and know what's going on. and
most importantly going to see plays and a lot of them. a lot of them
would be crap but there's no other way. they can't teach us to act or
be inspired. and we have to have the knowledge, we have to go to
opening nights at the malthouse and "bump" into people, we have to
mingle. For example, we should know that Tony Ayres who directed
"Walking On Water" is looking to cast a new movie with an all chinese
cast. Then he pointed at me. he said "you should know this and get a
good agent to track down that part, it's difficult for him right now
to find chinese-australians and there, i just gave you a job, in fact
i'm having dinner with him on friday i might pass on your number"

i can honestly say at that moment my heart skipped a beat. then he
told us that only six of us would be staying for the third monologue,
but i was all buoyed up that i didn't really care if i got to stay or
not. cept then he called out my name amongst the five others and oh,
that feeling.... there was this other guy sitting next to me,
Sacchrine who was also staying and we just stared at each other
totally bewildered. we were still sitting on the floor and everyone
else stood up and filed around us patting our backs and our eyes
stayed locked, it was happiness exactly, or relief, i know i was
worried coz my third piece was absolute shit and i could tell he was
pretty much thinking the same thing.

we had a lunch break then. but nobody ate anything, mainly because it
was the ballet school canteen and there really wasn't much besides
what looked like bird feed. i got to know the other five a little
better. two of them had been this far in the process before. one of
them, a kid who was still 18, was at St Martin's all year practicing,
the other girl had an audition for VCA on thursday and waiting for a
call back for WAAPA so wasn't too fussed. and then we got to
workshopping! yay!

*prelude* i did Cavale from Cowboy Mouth, a play i had never heard of,
nor read. i just got the sense that i could play up the innocence in
this one which was the contrast i needed so i picked it. and again i
did it the whole way through and they didn't stop me. and at the end
Kevin asked "why did you pick this particular piece?", i panicked
again, and mumbled something about "innocence, not really innocence
but a wonderment that could be portrayed in an innocent way". i could
shoot myself. but oh then it gets worse, because i gave such a shit
answer i was still shaky, then he asked me "why theatre?" and get
this. this is actually what i said:

"because to me, acting, running through emotions over and over,
jumping from one to another is so...alive. that's what life is,
through what we feel and not anything else, so really, acting is
...a...validation of life to me..."

a part of me floated up and looked down at myself and thought "WHAT A
WANKER! SHUT UP YOU STUPID WOMAN!"

i think by then Kevin was losing interest in me, so he asked me to do
beatrice again (which is why i made the cut in the first place i
think). so i did it, the wailing and all. he stopped me at the first
"KILL CLAUDIO!". then he stopped me at every phrase, he even got up to
demonstrate what he wanted. i think he loved beatrice too much to see
me butcher it. bascially what he wanted was calculated rage. but he
kept on cracking stupid chinese jokes like "i want to see the chinese
dragon mistress" and "be like the girls from Hero". it was great
though, the more he was yelling instructions at me the more i got in
to it and it was so fun. he stopped me whenever he saw something he
didn't like (now you're just seducing him! don't, you're angry! ...is
that how you are normally?) and reassured in all the right places
(you're a greate emotional actor and i love that about you, but now
learn to contain it, shakespeare never wrote "and then she weeps"
Beatrice is a strong woman. Don't CRY). in the end we all got a call
back and he pulled me aside and asked if i minded if he really did
pass on my contact details to Tony Ayres. like he needed to ask, i
mean why are we auditioning?

ok. i'm spent. i wanted to tell you about how the others did as well
but maybe another time. oh i've now read cowboy mouth and realised i
was WAY off. they took away my windermere and gave me Patty from
Little Murders (a dreadful play that's NOT IN ANY LIBRARIES OR
BOOKSTORES, someone checked it out of the ERC and i can't find it
anywhere). and i'm still struggling with having a non-crying beatrice.
oh ho i'm not even going to bother to spell check this. just make do
will you? oh wait, it's the end, so you must already have. lol

the second audition is Monday 21st. there will be about 10 people,
around 30 would make it to the second round then we go on a short
list. 5-6 gets picked and fly up to Sydney to audition with the rest
of Australia. they accept 20-25 students each year. *sigh* a long way
to go. and i need to run my monologues over with someone other than my
mother who basically wants me to keep my movements beautiful and
graceful, bleh.

anyway. i'm off to watch "Walking on Water"
nite ~.^
Alice

-end-

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pure, unadulterated, happiness

i can honestly say that today is THE MOST AMAZING day of my life.

as some of you, anyone who's been reading this blog since its inception, would probably.....have forgotten. i had my NIDA auditions today. it was....it was....beyond words.

yes yes i got a call back. (one of the six out of 30 thank you very much)

and what else? what else...? oh yes! that one of the judges is having dinner with Tony Ayres on Friday and he asked me if i would mind if he gave Tony my number.

i'm trippin'

i really really am

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DABDA

gah, the whole post is after jump.


denial

anger

bargaining

depression

acceptance

i've been caught up on the first stage. then this morning stepped right into depression and now i've relaxed to the final stage of acceptance.

i am talking, of course, about the state of my course work for the semester. i just realised today that the take home exam for linguistics isn't for the exam week, but was due in on 31st Oct. what is wrong with me?

current music:
death cab for cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dar
did you know that the lead of death cab is the same guy that sings for the postal service? that does not explain at all why i prefer postal service, but it explains exactly why i'm feverishly giving death cab another chance
~

it's starting again, the sound of anarchy. first it's on the news, the voices of foreign prime ministers speaking through translators, making empty promises. "they would be held accountable" How? arrest them all? Don't tell me you want a lawless society until you've been forced into one, sonny. you scoff at bourgeois sentiments when you're FULL OF IT. frankly, i'm excited. maybe now my own personal tragedy can have a used by date. 'urban terrorism' HAH!

terrorism, the new revolution

~

my life is starting to get pathetic. i was watching gilmore girls and at the end of the episode jess and rory shared a kiss, the kind that lifts you up quite literally and you pull away breathless. i'm two steps away from making some bad mistakes. moleskine porn to the rescue.

and another pointless meme

You scored as James Bond, Agent 007. James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner. James Bond, Agent 007 83% Neo, the "One" 83% Lara Croft 75% El Zorro 71% Captain Jack Sparrow 63% Maximus 63% William Wallace 58% Batman, the Dark Knight 50% The Terminator 50% Indiana Jones 42% The Amazing Spider-Man 33% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

edit:
i know what i want. what i really really want but absolutely cannot justify getting. no matter how much i fondled it, i just couldn't fork over $320. but it's so perfect. but oh oh.....

so i propose, the "alice wants herself a lil elise caarels" fund (better known as the AWHALEC) donations of $10 can be made to my paypal account, all proceeds to AWHALEC (pronunced ah-wah-lek) will obviously go towards me getting myself said elise caarels bag.

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psychotic ramblings

I'm not good in heat. i wilt like the sickly sweet flower that i am with a bug eating away at my insides.

yes yes, i'm not good in heat.

last night i fell asleep at 5am holding an evian atomizer can in my hand randomly spraying into the air directly above my naked body letting the water mist down on to me. i used up my last stock, couldn't even find a new supply yesterday when i went out to buy some (i knew, KNEW i would need new cans)

anyone who finds any in stores today get some for me? i need at least three cans to last me through november

instead i bought yet another moleskine (fourth, and LAST one, it's more than an illness now) and a lamy tipo pen to go with it. it was cute and wrote quite smoothly, but only when i came home i found out it was too thick and too bold for my writing. next time i test pens in stores, i'll do more than just my signature. pretty pen though. (i got the silver one)


then i feverishly avoided doing actual work by crawling the moleskine and pen porn sites defending the writing instruments of my choice (uniball signo RT 0.38 and Jetstream) against accusations that they are inferior to the Pilot G2. ( surely you jest?!the Hi-Tec C maybe tolerable, the G2? HAH!)

it's cooled down a bit now, i've had my berocca performance, a bowl of muesli with yogurt. let's get down to it then.

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moleskinery 2

i've started work on my moleskine, the bigger one. take a lookie lookie! (click on "the full story..." link)

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my life rated

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.1
Mind:	5.5
Body:	6.6
Spirit:	7.3
Friends/Family:	4.1
Love:	4.6
Finance:	5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

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feeling narcissistic

some meme's, warning, very long post.....only read when you have oodles of spare time and want to know a dangerous lot about me...


2 questions

Two Names You Go By
1. Alice
2. allie...?

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. err...chinese
2. and chinese

Two Things That Scare You
1. the future
2. worthlessness

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. my ipod pumping my theme tunes for the day
2. critical thinking, maybe too much so

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. my elle macpherson pink polka dotted bra, the woman can't act but makes damn good bras
2. track pants

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment)
i'll go by individual tracks
1. Fiona Apple (i'll make the most of it, i'm an extrodinary machine)
2. Stars (and all of the time you thought i was sad i was trying to remember your name)

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. conversation
2. heat

Two Truths
1. if you take a picture with the camera too close to your face you end up looking like a balloon. you hear that woman at the fuji store???
2. i'm horrible at rejection

Two things You hate:
1. stupid people who don't get me and in turn call me stupid
2. sucking at finishing work

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. dreamy dreamy light coloured eyes coupled with...
2. perfectly shaped lips giving a cheeky grin

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. having a directors commentary running in my head to my social experiments
2. buying moleskines.....it's an illness

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. would it be too forward to say...G?
2. to get into nida

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. for reasons i'll keep to myself, Barcelona, and europe at large
2. tokyo

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. be published
2. be famous

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy
1. i'm a gun at makeup, though i'm starting to doubt how stereotypical that is...
2. my inclination towards beautiful things...once again not exactly girls only

Two Things You Wouldn't Admit
1. how i really felt about him, and the relationship
2. what really happened that night four years ago

Two people I would like to see take this quiz
1. i hate these questions
2. ...

and now for the whopper, deemed the longest meme in the world...
i'll try and do it really quickly so excuse the typos

BASICS
Your full name - Alice Bing Qing Tao Qin (a mouthful yeah)
Age - 20
Height - 5ft3"
Natural hair colour - asian black
(Only 300 more to go!)
Eye colour - dark dark brown
Number of siblings - none
Glasses/contacts - contacts since my 12th birthday baby
Piercings - one in each year from 10th birthday, belly button since monday
Tattoos - will let you know
Braces - never got them, wanted to then chickened out. who gives, i'll be unique right?

FAVOURITE
Colour - every colour's good for something.
Band - too hard
Song - waaay too hard
Stuffed animal - don't like them
Video game - never had a console in my life
TV show - right now? The Starlet
Movie - harder than the music one
Book - read my goddamn profile
Food - australian...lol...in other words everything
Game on a cell phone - tetris
CD cover - sigur ros takk
Flower - does dandelion count?
Scent - sensi
Animal - dogs
Comic book - the glass mask (i take it to mean manga as well)
Cereal - coco pops
Website - www.thesuperficial.com
Cartoon - disney series? filmore, disney film? bambi

DO YOU
Play an instrument? piano, violin, chinese zhen
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week? starting to look like it
Like to sing? too much so
Have a job? as in i work yes
Have a cell phone? who still doesn't?
Like to play sports? HELL NO
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no
Have a crush on someone? a few
Live somewhere NOT in the united states? yahuh duh
Have more than 5 TVs in your house? i'm not cary
Have any special talents/skills? that's vague
Excercise daily? monthly
Like school? i enjoy the acadamia
Sing the alphabet backwards? huh?
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes? when i'm nervous
Speak any other languages? chinese
Go a day without food? tick
Stay up for more than 24 hours? tick
Read music, not just tabs? have to
Roll your tongue? yup
Eat a whole pizza? when i was 8

HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house? too many times
Cried to get out of trouble? i reserve the tears for personal injury, i teared up though
Gotten lost in your city? i got there in the end
Seen a shooting star? don't look up often enough
Been to any other countries besides the united states? erm....ok this is too us centric
Had a serious surgery? when i was 2
Stolen something important to someone else? lol....erm....*giggles*
Solved a rubiks cube? never even tried
Gone out in public in your pajamas? public public or down the street public?
Cried over a girl? yes
Cried over a boy? yes
Kissed a random stranger? ...
Hugged a random stranger?...arhuh
Been in a fist fight? no
Been arrested? no =(
Done drugs? how hard?
Had alcohol? not much
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose? don't drink milk
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator? yes...but it only had three levels and someone else picked one
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?.....yes
Swore at your parents? she never heard it
Been to warped tour? ...huh?
Kicked a guy where it hurts? accidentally
Been in love? am in love
Been close to love? see above
Been to a casino? it's melbourne, it's pretty dead without it
Ran over an animal and killed it? don't drive
Broken a bone? never
Gotten stitches? neither
Had a waterballoon fight in winter? the snow melted so fast it was almost a water fight
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour? already said i don't drink milk
Made homemade muffins? the prepackaged ones
Bitten someone? unfortunately
Been to disneyland/disneyworld? in paris
More than 5 times? we only had a day
Been to niagra falls? can't say i want to either
Burped in someones face? who does that?
Gotten the chicken pox? when i was little

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth - this morning
Went to the bathroom - erm.....three, four hours ago?
Saw A Movie In Theaters - yesterday, emily rose, gave me a fright too (which is a lot coming from me)
Read a book - this morning, something's rotten for the second time
Had a snow day - four years ago
Had a party - two years ago
Had a slumber party - which kind? ;)
Made fun of someone - i make it a daily goal
Tripped in front of someone - ...yesterday
Went to the grocery store - last week, got milk, go figure
Got sick - june
Cursed – two minutes ago

PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables - fruit
Black/white - black
Lights on/lights off - off
TV/movie - movie
Car/truck - car
Body spray/lotion - lotion
Cash/check - cash
Pillows/blankets - pillows
Headache/stomach ache - huh???
Paint/charcoal - charcoal?
Chinese food/mexican food - chinese
Summer/winter - winter
Snow/rain - rain...no snow...no both!!
Fog/misty - fog, it smells nice
Rock/rap - bad rap is intolerable, so is bad rock....erm.....rock
Meat/vegetarian - meat
Boy/girl - ooo...toughie.....but generally girls piss me off so boys
Chocolate/vanilla - vanilla
Sprinkles/icing - icing
Cake/pie - pie (the english kind)
French toast/french fries - fries
Strawberries/blueberries - aaagh....both
Ocean/swimming pool - beach...lol...
Hugs/kisses - bear hugs and soft kisses
Cookies/muffins - cookies
p33n/bewbz - what?
Wallet/pocket - wallet
Window/door - window
Emo/goth - goth
Pink/purple - pink looks better on me
Cat/dog - dog, but i'm too lazy so cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve - long
Pants/shorts - pants
Winter break/spring break - spring
Spring/autumn - autumn
Clouds/clear sky - clouds
Moon/mars - mars

FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have? WTF??
What are their names? this is retarded
Do you have a best friend? what are we 12?
Have you ever liked one of your friends? never
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends? what are we counting as friends here?
Have you ever lost a friend? many many
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend? never went to one without one
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend? BAM!
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend? i avoid confrontation
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend? they never remember, so why should i?
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you? took public transport out to the city to buy me lunch and bring it to my house.
Do you miss any of your old friends? all of them
What friend have you known the longest? annie, my first friend arriving in australia
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend? i have no regrets ever.
If so, what is it? see above
How often do you spend time with your friends? as much as i can take...which often isn't much
Do any of your friends drive? hey there stranger *batter eyelids*
Has a friend of yours ever died? thank god no
Whats the dumbest thing you've done with a friend? unknowingly insult her gift to her face, actually i take back the regret comment,
What do you think your friends think of you? that i'm conceited, and i'm fine with that
Have you ever been in love? i already answered this
If you have, with who? you want me to list? in the beginning there was a J, then a C, and now a G and an A
Are you single? happily so
Are you in a relationship? ...why so redundant?
If so, for how long? been single? 2 months
Do you believe there is someone for everyone? there are many someones for everyone
What is your idea of the best date? nervous giggles overcome by a surprising ease in conversation and ending in much bear hugs and soft kisses
What was your first kiss like? truthfully? wet
How old were you when you got your first kiss? 14
Do you think love is a load of shit? not at all
Whats the best experiance you've ever had with the opposite sex? i swear some of these questions...
Have you ever been dumped? that's how i've made them feel yes
Have you ever dumped someone? i just make sure they do it
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex? happened outside a relationship

WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers - summer
Hat - fedora (i want one!)
Hard - kinky
Free - spirit (i know, how lame)
Space - warehouse (i want one! lol)
Taste - got it
Good charlotte - DIE
Red - queen
Deep - throat (the documentary....=P)
Heart - queen (see how it all connects?)
Cord - cordory
Cheese - chalk (were characters in something's rotten, not my fault)
Rain - summer
Work - post
Pedal - pushers
Head - butt
Bed - sleep
Fluff - hair (you know what i'm talking bout)
Hardcore - sid's piercings...from sucide girls, hot hot
Race - novel (racey romance novels....)
Knife - thigh
Jump - how high?

I....
am -peachy
want - G
need - lovin
crave - red meat
love - syruppy pop
hate - myself for loving syruppy pop
did - no work
feel - lost
miss - him
am annoyed by - some certain friend who's getting too close for comfort
would rather - sleep
am tired of - mature age students
will always - be a kid

SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music? of all time? .....not jazz per se but jazzy tunes with melodies
What time is it now? 1:52AM
What day is it? Sat 29th Oct
Whens the last time you called someone? last night
How much money do you have right now? got paid today so....am loaded
Are you hungry? no
Whatcha doin? this, idiot
Do you like parades? hate them
Do you like the moon? can't say i feel strongly about it either way
What are you going to do when youre done with this? put on some music and go to bed
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over? now i want cup cakes
If you could have any magical power what would it be? power of persuasion
Have you ever had a picnic? yes and i hate it
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young? huh?
What about sock em boppers? what?
Are you wearing any socks right now? no and i'm cold

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny? no
pretty? yes (would seem prude to say no)
sarcastic? not at all
lazy? ...you tell me
hyper? not sincei last had a dose of liquid happiness
friendly? i tr
evil? not enough
smart? -er than most
strong? pissy weakling i am
talented? who doesn't think they're talented in some way?
dorky? way waaaay dorky

FOR OR AGAINST:
suicide - if you heard about the attempt, then they're liars
love - who the fuck would be against love?
drunk drivers - drunk anything is in bad taste
airplanes - for
war - ...for the spirit of warfare, against the actual bloodshed
canada - lol....all the way, go canadia!!!
united states - home of pop culture and MTV? how can i say no
rock music - post rock, not metal
gay marriage - against, they're so much hotter permiscuous
school - for
surveys - it's needed
parents - sometimes they can be right
cars - until we find a cleaner faster way of transport
killing - what?
britney spears - killing brit? hell yeah! but no wait she's a mother.....
coffee - i wish i could still drink it, not that it stops me
pants - against, take 'em off boy

WOULD YOU EVER:
Sky dive? where do i sign?
Play strip poker? teach me poker first
Run away? done so
Curse at a teacher? cursing doesn't get you anywere
Not take a shower for a week? had to for outward bound
Ask someone out?...technically yes, and no
Lie to someone to make them think better of you? everyone does that
Visit a foreign country for more than a month? someone convince my mother to letting me go
Go scuba diving? not interested
Write a book? in progress
Become a rockstar? what's this person's amateur obsession on rock?
Have casual sex? ...yes

LAST QUESTIONS:
What shampoo do you use? Catwalk Oatmeal and Honey
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex? too long ago
What kind of computer do you have? iMac G5 17" superdrive
What grade are you in? 2nd year
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies? only people i know and noisy bitches
Or just make out? i've grown since then
How many posters do you have in your room? currently none, working on a new plan for my interactive wall
How many cds do you have? my itunes library is 22.8 days long
What time is it now? 2:06AM

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Light headed

meet carol (the chicken)



i had the pleasure of spending her last few hours on this earth with her on a train ride today. she's a vivacious redhead who is very image conscious and insists on spraying her care takers with water when they so much as suggest she drinks water from the bottle. residing in a canvas bag curtsey of Shiva Indian Cuisine Eat In or Take Away, Malvern, she enjoys staring imperiously around her and the odd choc chip cookie.

it was a fun day at work today. woke up this morning with the choice of going to my last class or sleep in. i chose to sleep. sorry marc.

some random snaps of my trip to work (correction: detour to work to make up for time gained by not going to class)

IMG_1136
Originally uploaded by rice_ingenue.

note: linked is a flickr photostream. clicky to view the entire stream. you must be pretty bored though.

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strange days

i know i promised pictures...but i've been feeling chubby lately and haven't been feeling like taking pictures of my bloated tummy. so here's a compromise. (you can see it! even if it's a minor detail!)



to the news of the day. the curious incidents in the life of alice cont.
i was wondering around david jones. languidly strolling through the cosmetics section before class today listening to consequences - the notwist on loop. out of nowhere a hand comes into my area of vision from behind holding a note. naturally i read it thinking maybe it's some overseas tourist asking for directions. the note read:

"Hi, i'm Sacchrine from the U.S. I find you very beautiful and would like to get to know you better"

i looked up, he was an indian guy with geeky hair and a red plaid shirt. and he continued to introduce himself as if the note was part of our conversation. he asked me where i was from, and told me again that he'd like to get to know me better. i apologised without knowing what for and told him i have to go. he continued to ask me about myself and so i rephrased to i would like to go. you'd think that that would be a flattering experience, it really wasn't. he reminded me strongly of Sameer from Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (Straight from the Heart), not the greatest of characters from not the greatest of bollywood films.

i almost had a moment with G. until i had to stop and say hi to Marc and Ohad. believe me, there had been no way possible for me to not say hi without it marring any form of impression he had of me. and i lost my chance.

he's going to a third world country in the holidays. i'm giddy.

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pierced

yup, i got my belly button pierced today.

didn't even bleed at all. a little stinging going on but it's that nice soothing kind of pain you know?

it was a nice day today. went to the last class for musicals, i feel like taking that class over. it was fun. and she, she was great. got my number too, and i got hers. had a great conversation involving her talking about her awesome life and me nodding along. she's adorable.

had cheap dinner at lounge again. i blame my lack of focus this semester on team lounge. really need to seriously get down to some work.

ooo my belly's all pretty. i'll take some pictures tomorrow and post them up.

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SG

i've changed my short term goals. i wish to be a suicide girl.
no it's got nothing to do with suicide, but everything to do with nudity and tattoos.

http://suicidegirls.com

their collection of australian girls suck. but boy some of the portland girls are smokin'

so people, anyone wanna see me naked?

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rancid

that's how my fingers smell right now. i never want to chop onions again.

but otherwise it was a success. people squirmed, teared up, walked out, and was just generally uncomfortable. and from this day onwards i would never view mud cakes, raw meat, or diet coke the same again. the only person in the audience who actually reads this thing being carilious, please comment and review. and i got copies of the dvd to give away. if you are interested in any of:

-porn
-autopsy
-shit eating
-general depravity

accompanied by:

-sigur ros
-mt zion
-george michael
-doom donut
-bjork

then i'll be more than happy to provide =P

feel much lighter now, though the impending doom of the realisation of the magnitude of overdue work is overwhelmingly pertinent. (yes this is why i'm not an english student)

the list of phrases i wish to use on people keep increasing, i've narrowed it down to three for the moment:

- You think you're chocolate but you're just chewing gum
- If i were any better i'd be twins
- You are merely a plot device

can't you tell i'm happy today?

he didn't come, and i'm glad.

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gif and other goodness

ok this was fun. multiple photos taken on my phone much to the dismay of nick.

'nick'

a couple of days ago, while wating on the corner outside nike, we saw a guy sit down on the ground with his jacket laid out in front of him. "oh what? he's just going to busk without doing anything?" no no, he had his headphones on and was listening to his discman. but wait you say, just listening and sitting around? no no, he started to sing. and oh boy, what a voice, almost killed me. as much as i like to joke that cary and pete's rendition of black hole was the sound of my hell, this was way waaaay worse. but oh HO! that's not all, soon after, he stood up to...dance
and this is the goodness that was recorded. once again on my phone so quality's a little shoddy, but you get the idea.

ok i said i was going to sleep early so i can get up in time for our presentation tomorrow but. oh hell this was fun.

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the day my heart skipped a beat

remember this day.

"turn to you neighbour"

remember this day.

"look into his/her eyes"

remember this day.

"what colour is his/her eyes?"

...
blue-grey. i could die.

and the whole time i kept on thinking omgineedtogotothebathroombuthe's lookingatmeandhe'ssocuteandican'tturnawayandkissmepleasekissme

"if i had told you to kiss your neighbour, i'm sure you would've had an affected experience such as described"

*dammit*

if only you knew what goes on in my head. please come tomorrow, i wouldn't know what to do if you didn't. to be honest i'm not sure what i'll do if you do but OH! it would make me so happy. so perfectly happy.

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where we're headed

there's been a lack of posts lately. reason being that, though stuff do happen in the intervening time, i feel like there's no purpose. no this is not the "what's the point of all this" phase, i got over that one during philosophy 101. this is a more pointed, what the hell am i doing phase. i'm stuck in my own mental waiting room. expecting. something's going to change very soon and i'm not sure how, and i'm even less sure if i'm going to like it.

which reminds me of my favourite quote, 'waste not want not, i'm not being wasted, why do i still want?'

i watched the people vs larry flynt again just then, and cried myself silly when althea died. again. maybe it's just because i'm tired, or maybe it's just the hour, but this very moment lends itself well to melancholy. through the binoculars i see that man out on his balcony having a smoke before bed. think i'll join him.

__________________________________________________________________
on loop: Consequence - The Notwist

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random test

The Nymph Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer (DBSDf) Sly. Sensual. Guarded. Different somehow. You are The Nymph. It appears like you're looking for a fling or a casual sexual relationship, but it's not that simple. You're a hungry but also very careful person, and this generates a certain amount of sexual tension within you and in your relationships. In other aspects of life, you get what you want. In relationships, that's not always the case. It's possible you intimidate potential lovers. Most likely, though, you're a little closed off--therefore mysterious--and, naturally, people find that difficult to get with. Maybe it's just part of your selection process, though. You've been in enough relationships to know to expose yourself slowly. When you do feel comfortable with someone, though, your torrid sexual appetite will make her very happy. Your cautious nature is also a big asset in a long-term relationship. It might take longer for love to establish itself, but when it does, it's all the stronger. ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe CONSIDER: The Playstation Your exact opposite: The Peach Random Gentle Love Master Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating. My profile name: ricep0d

nymph eh? i can handle that

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shu uemura me baby!

danny got me the greatest present. EVER.

an actual shu uemura eyelash curler all the way from the states. my ultimate makeup case is now officially complete! first thing i did when i got home was wash my make-up off and curled till my lashes had no where to curl up to. it works so perfectly i could not thank you enough. so here's my shout out. thanks beautiful, love you this
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
much

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zaccheaus 3451...9

in the wee hours of the morning something so decidedly good that could only come out of something thoroughly coincidental happened. an old friend is regained from a scribbled note written in my own childish hand almost six years ago. i've been silly, and i'll never let so much time pass before making a connection again, especially when it was so easy to.

i realised i haven't posted as regularly as i have been, mainly because the past few days rushed by in the good kind of crazy that drives most things, namely things that makes you stop and reflect such as blogging, out of your mind. some things stand out more than others, such as the fact that i managed to hold an entire conversation, and be able to sit next to for an entire lecture hour, with the object of my current obsession, and realised quite happily that i didn't really need any more than that.

The first half of our audio visual for our tute was done on thursday night and i never want to have to hear flawless again after Nov 21st. friday night meant a huge fillet mignon with gelatti to follow topped off with spur of the moment karaoke til 5 am saturday morning. only to be pulled out of bed again to go cheap crap shopping. Wonderfully cheap, and wonderfully crap, which really makes it an oxymoron but spending money is always cathartic, no matter the subject. also bought some women's clothes for marc so he could go to a party dressed as david bowie, which was kinda hot in a strange way. the fact that he could get into pants that i couldn't was depressing. despite threats otherwise they still got me home in time to get ready for dinner with the father with the extended family. intense moments that i would write about later on in life. involved much looking around bored out of my mind and trying to actually count the number of individual rice granules in my bowl.

and now you’re up to date on the goings on of me. it has come to my attention that i actually have an audience with this thing, if a somewhat silent one. do feel free to comment and spread the love around, donations are also accepted, they will go towards me leading a more happening social life which would in turn provide much more interesting a read. tt’s win win, no?

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moleskinery

i bought my first moleskine today. pocket, ruled, reporter. it's not entirely beautiful, nor elegant, nor all that practical either (or affordable). but this little black book inspires so much fascination that i feel its status is beyond me. so what on earth do i write in it? my thoughts i keep here on blog. my personal triumphs and losses in my diary on my bedside. my ideas in a cheap little notebook i keep inside my coat pocket. where in my life can i fit in a small, perfectly formed moleskine with a cult following?

everywhere.

i'm going to bring writing back into my world. if hemingway did it this way, least i could do is give it a shot right?

the picture is of andre breton's moleskine as displayed in the library of Paul Eluard, with the ex libris drawn by max ernst

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Alice: The Pathetic Years

and thus, it begins...

i'm giving myself to the end of the week to catch up on everything, with everyone. Otherwise i might as well go ahead and die because by god, i suck.

but i'm happy today. take a guess why =P

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happy birthday to me...

without fanfare, i'm 20. and nothing's changed, cept maybe hair colour. i could never be 19 again. shit.

but so far? not so bad. this could possibly be the loneliest birthday i've ever had. but i feel fine. i chose it that way, didn't i? this was what i wanted. to do nothing, share it with no one. i'm fine.

i'll keep telling myself that.

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little girl blue

a slight dent in my sense of self-worth. *sigh*, so much drama, and boy you don't even know.

sitting here listening to muddy waters. i remember going to see lightening in a bottle at MiFF last year with J. he hated it, and took to watching my face with that childish glee absolutely enthralled. good stuff, good times.

appropriate too.

You Can't Lose What You Ain't Never Had - Muddy "Mississippi" Waters

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faitless

had a nightmare this morning. i dreamt that i killed eric. stabbed him in fact. it also managed to incoporate every other fear i have at the moment. was terrified when i woke up. fuck it's been a long couple of years. this is the kind of shit that really fucks you up later on in life. the kind that you try to repress and then spew out to your shrink when you hit your mid-life crisis.

i was looking through dvd boxsets at JB today when a dirty old man asked me to join him for a coffee and more. 5th one this month and counting. there's something wrong with me.

spent $265 today on dvd's and burning software and bras. maybe that part's the dream and i really did kill eric. i don't know which is worse, being broke or being a murderer. but i suppose an eric-less world can't be a bad thing right? he can't come back, i have a bad feeling about him coming back.

marc's coming tomorrow to start editing the video/audio, gotta burn all my dvd's off the comp so i have room.

i need sleep.

inbox still empty.

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hide and seek

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs
__________________________________________

i'm going crazy. it's been exactly a week and nothing. i half wanna think, to hell with decorum, it's my birthday week i can do whatever the hell i want. but god, that's not the way i want things to go.

so i'll just preoccupy myself with mindless media consumption. idol's on tonight, as much as i hate every performer this year, better than staring at my empty entourage inbox willing it to fill up.

i think i agree with you now, i am obssessive compulsive. so what if that's my thing? don't everyone have a thing? i dare you tell me it's doesn't not don't.
see?

___________________
hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first
oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before
the takeover
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life
-Imogen Heap

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6 days til i'm twenty...

last night taught me the reason why i don't join stupid clubs like AA or go to any of their functions and balls. i hate asian girls. i'm sure they're perfectly nice people but FUCK they're annoying. they have puddy for brains, no taste, no opinion, not a single intelligent thought running through their heads even though they talk like they believe they do. yes it was nice to meet you but GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

i need more sleep.

can't believe it's my birthday in less than a week. i think i'll run away for the day. go and get some work done.

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the self, the property

my first foray into a gay club and i was almost sold. it was fabulous. if ever i was to have a sexual awakening i think it would be with these guys. i know i seemed a little freaked out and a little shy but believe me, i had fun. so thankful for my freedom right now. and somehow strangely thankful also for the s&m thing. funny how that happened. just goes to show, you never know where life would lead you. too tired right now, will post more later...

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sinners and deviants

slowly, our tutorial presentation is starting to take shape. my computer is now filled to the brim with avant-garde pornography and other depravities. we need an a/v person to work the computers for us, if you're interested, and is available friday mornings, leave a msg and i'll audition you to see if you can hack it. Submitters beware, gay butt-plug action, self mutilating cuttings and cigarette burnings involved. i'm actually kinda excited, this is what university was supposed to be all about right? campy depraved shit? bring it on!

spent so much time trying to find programs that lets me grab dvd clips and drag into imovies so i can compile them into one dvd to show. and now i need a compression program, hopefully freeware coz i already spent like...$85 on getting quicktime pro and the mpeg-2 component. my first purchases on my credit card...depressing eh? i might get a corset as my second bit of plastic action, then i might actually get to do the whole swipe and sign thing instead of typing numbers into a computers. plus everyone needs a corset, if only for the novelty value.

seriously need to get moving on doing some work. i suck.

currently playing on loop: hot hot heat - elevator

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correspondence 2

Hey,

How wackily postmodern is "a", though? A what? Who cares? why do we need to attach our own syntactical expectations onto symbols.

Okay, so I'm done being pretentious. Yeah, I don't know how I want to solidfy the idea for this elevator scene, as it would actually require some technical construction. But I just really wanted to explore it sort of through what causes the awkwardness, and I don't really know yet, but I'd like it to be a sort of comic "academic surrealism" that is more interested in pure experiences and finding the causes behind them. Not sure if it will work, however.

Monday sounds pretty terrifying to you. I wish I had a group to do presentations with! I'm just doing a boring one by myself in week 12. That whole not attending classes thing makes it difficult...

So the whole post-work 1am ness is starting to dwell in. Oh! Charlie! Haven't seen it. I know, I know, I know. Don't have time yet, but I'm hoping to see it soon. Worth it? I hope so, though the old is a favourite of mine.

(Additional note: I am a perfectly normal straight guy who owns his own makeup...but it is for stage...)

Bah. Sleep time.

Peace, love, and understandings! (Do you ever notice how it was such a year 10-12 thing to have fun little comments just before you sign your name out, as if to say "I'm cool because of my proximity to this somewhat profound statement...")

G

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correspondence

Heya G,

Sorry to hear that the past couple of weeks hasn't been good, but isn't that all the more reason to come to the screening? There is nothing so terrible in the world that a little Fear and Loathing can't snap back into perspective. A deranged Johnny Depp is what makes my life complete. Which reminds me, the whole point of emailing you in the first place was to ask what you thought of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Everyone I've talked to has been really split into either hating and absolutely raving about it. (in case you're wondering, I fall into the latter category)

Then again, emails are useless when it comes to discussing movies, so I won't go on about it.

Christian was saying how for the final assessment, he's hoping to not receive any essays and just get creative stuff. And then he was saying how it would be better to actually have a screening for the short film or performance at a gathering some night, which is not what I had in mind at all, but he didn't elaborate, and I didn't go to the tute so I couldn't ask.

I had wanted to do the manifesto and short film too, because I was annoyed that the surrealists wanted to explore the wonder of everyday life and yet everything they came out with was dark and depressing and or horrible so I wanted to compile a montage of simple pleasures which is surreal only in the way they're stringed together. Then I suddenly realized, that's the basis for any decent advertising campaign these days. So that idea went to shit, which I'm actually grateful for since it would actually require a lot of work. And costly too, since all the shots I imagined in my head involved a lot of tying the camera to things to spin from and other such ways to break the damn thing.

But hey, awkward/anxious moment in an elevator is actually doable! Better than that, elevators always have that twilight zoney feel about them. Am intrigued, how are you actually going to "explore" that moment?

I'm coming up to campus on Monday to talk about the tute presentation with my group. A perfectly normal straight guy who owns his own makeup, and a masochist complete with cigarette burns on his calf. I had been hoping to see you at the screenings so I could come and talk to you rather than hearing what they have planned for our performance. Alas, you failed me, I'm down as a sadist. Should be interesting, they're trying to convince Christian into letting us just do a write up of the performance for the essay. But until then, I've got Monday to live through. So if you find some desolate little Asian girl wondering around looking a tad shaken, you'll know why.

Oh lordy, this turned out to be quite a novel. I'm in the Friday morning 11am tute, just so I can go to work after. What can I say? Girl gotta eat.

Ok, I've kept myself from my assignments long enough, and am fairly confident that I've kept you from yours too so, I'm outie.

Best, Alice
(can't believe you actually go by G, then again I'm just jealous I can solidify my presence down to an initial. It'll be like, "love from a", a what? peh)

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Plastic Fantastic

oh lordy, i guess i'm getting carded

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Running is evil

My butt hurts and I have lower back pain. Looking thin and gorgeous is not worth this much trouble. However being able to run for my life when circumstances call for it may be. I was halfway across the rowing stretch when I realised – I’m terribly unfit. That aside, I’m in pain, and will put off running again for at least another week. The boys by the rowing shed would just have to entertain themselves without my huffin’ and puffin’.

Mum came home today. I had been all excited wondering what goods she would bring. Alas, this was what I had hyped myself up for: three pairs of shoes which would not come out of their bags until I’ve dispatched them to the salvos, countless frilly tops that makes me hungry for cake, and shirts in shades that make my skin look like puke. All of which would never see the light of day. I’m never letting her shop for me again, unless I have the exact product in mind with the exact shade and size product code.

My mind’s been all over the place lately. Can’t concentrate on anything productive. I’ve been reading the same page of my linguistics textbook for the past three weeks. I haven’t handed in a single assignment since semester started. But OH OH progress! I’ve narrowed down the field of my third and last audition piece!

Mum’s currently asleep on my bed, I don’t think she much likes the idea of moving back to chaddy either. I’m going to have to kick her out sometime before dinner, otherwise I’m gonna have to call T and cancel. Which is not a bad idea actually, considering how bad out drinking conversations are I’d hate to think what dinner would be like.

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badaboom

a quick roundup of the past two weeks:

watched: charlie and the chocolate factory
Depp's face is god's gift to man. Burton is absolutely mad. Will buy it on DVD the moment it comes out.




read: The Big Over Easy
Jasper Fforde's fourth book, set within one of the books that his previous characters took residence. "It's Easter in Reading, a very bad time for eggs." brilliant stuff, though not up to the old standards simply because of the limiting factors of the genre (which, by the way, is nursery crime, as in -- the death of Humpty Dumpty, fall? pushed? accident? murder? suicide?) It seems like all his books to come will follow the same vein, for a while at least.


had a hair cut yesterday, didn't have time to dye it so wait till my birthday. i love janice, she can do with scissors what kevin aucoin did with brushes. our conversation strayed from study to relationships, to skin care, to movies, to mothers and to pms. therapeutic much. not much actual change to my hair, just a more manageable fringe and a more shaped back. T couldn't even tell the difference.

speaking of T, much talk has gone into our not talking. with not much result either. though he did chuck a sweet in with my sandwich today so i guess it's going well.

my nida application has be sent and received. the auspicious date? November 8. smack bang in the middle of assignment mayhem. i'll make it work, i'm gonna have to.

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2nd Sept

IMG_1023
Originally uploaded by rice_ingenue.

four girls turned 20 today, and the sun was out. i was in a happy mood so i took my camera out and took some snaps. happy happy snaps.

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BUBBLES!

IMG_0885_1
Originally uploaded by rice_ingenue.

click pic to link to my flickr account and flick through the set

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regression, bubbles cont.

all fun and games last thursday when i regressed into the little girl that i really am and came out of australian geographic with a tube of the childhood goodness that is magic balloons. and that's not even the worst of it. cary and i started blowing them up in smxl to look like complete fools and here are the pics for your amusement.

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transition

so now i'm officially going to stop using xanga. mainly because the templates here at blogger are so much nicer and i can use my flickr account finally and stop using photobucket (since it's filling up)

more productive post will come later

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