...and what alice found there

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Parallel Synchronized Randomness


lying here in my bed at 1pm on a day on a day that i have uni. i should really go to my blake tute. but the guilt of still not have done the necessary work for my tute presentation the day after compelled me to stay home and do the work now, just as i am here blogging. there just isn't enough time. what with the opening of the spanish tonight and my silly plans for after work and the dreams of my breakfastblog huntings the morning after. everything's off the books. well, except for work.

how do you know when you're just settling? when things you want and expect just doesn't exist in your world, do you just accept the hand you're dealt with knowing full well you chose the game? going through the motions of the everyday, it's hard to believe that i am the same girl who just a year ago swore to herself that she won't ever settle again, that she's finally content with her lot.

this blog began with the chronicling of the bits and pieces that helped me get to that stage again. September 2005 when i stepped out trembling and alone. For all the therapy this outlet has provided, it really is a steaming pile of byproducts from the neither regions. and now days i keep clicking on the "+new post" button and staring at the blinking bar in the empty box and nothing. my head is the blinking bar in the empty box. i'm moving on, i've passed my blogging prime. long rants and rambling prose was never really my scene anyway. i am entirely contentless.

perhaps i would write here again, when i start getting some feelings back into my fingers. this would always be my portal. i daresay the twitter and flickr badges would get updated often, and the other various rss-liciousness. but this is the temporary shut down of the Looking Glass.

***

i'm an dirty liar. or just a perpetual regretist. moment i make a decision i have to take it back. there's still enough outpourings of the heart in me, hysterical and incomprehensible as they may be. when i try to rationalise everything into Courier New it stops making sense in my head. Halvetica perhaps?

i'm getting hungry again, i'm going out for some lunch, maybe i'll feel better then.

***

I like your boobs. They're very friendly and unpretentious.
- Stephane "Science of Sleep"

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

quickie before work

i just wanted to make a not that i managed to waste 2 hours on THIS today without realising and was almost late to work.

i am TEH suck

but try it. it's all kinds of addictive.

oh and sorry about the down time. i was trying to port this to riceingenue.com my newly aquired domain name, but it's taking a while...

you can go to ricep0d.com for my tumblelog. there's nothing on it yet. but you just wait...

i also bought magnetsanswerall.com for cary. anytime you wanna use it for anything boy, just shout

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007

real life in 3D

ok already!

it's not about having a life, it's about actually doing things with my time and not being tied to the computer. so here it is, liquid crystal pixel ink to my virtual paper. a post, aghast!

failed my p's today.

like seriously. i suck. not only did i wait til a good half a year after i turn 21 to even attempt to put all those motoring skills to the test i had to suck at it. granted the most suckiest of reason to fail EVAH. it was all fine, we were cruising along, and i was doing GREAT. and on the way back, about 2 minutes from the end destination, i was just sitting there in the driver's seat thinking to myself... "is this a 50 zone? or a 60? it looks big enough and non-residential enough to be a 60, and they're all 60s around here...hmm...i'm going too slow then..." and grrrrr...up the speedometer

*tap tap* on the shoulder
"erm...can you pull over please."

SERIOUSLY! I FAILED FOR SPEEDING! OF ALL THINGS. THIS MAKES ME ANGRY. ALL CAPS KINDA ANGRY.

enough of that. Australia's Next Top Model was very cleansing. especially since i wasn't really watching and only looked at the pictures at the end. i can't believe the entire cast of Will and Grace are on Inside the Actor's Studio. Megan's voice is so normal, it's insanely disconcerting.

horrifying dream last night. and i was so aware that i was in a dream and was desperately trying to wake myself up. it was bizarre. i tried to run and it was kind of like running in water, so then i started banging my hand against my head and nothing. (i did acknowledge for a moment how amazing it was that i actually felt nothing and that all those cliches about pinching yourself were oddly true). it took a little while but i eventually did scare myself awake. that was a surreal moment, i couldn't be sure if i was awake awake and couldn't shake the dream off me. i can still remember everything so vividly.

***
RETURN OF THE FIVES
***

5 things ticking me off RIGHT now


1. william blake
2. the internet still not working on my new shiny new phone
3. i'm always either too cold or too warm. why can't i be warm blooded?
4. there's no chips in the house
5. i should be asleep by now

my eyelashes were fierce today. i want to try the new diorshow blackout mascara.

i want to read more. and absorb things without worrying about assessment. i want this whole uni thing to be over.

i need some sleep.

the science of sleep was awesome. if anyone is on my list (you know, the list of celebrities you can fuck without it being counted as cheating) gael garcia bernal is on it.

i want to be elsewhere...


***
list of celebrities i'd like to fuck without it being counted as cheating
***

1. the depp man
2. miss scarlett + mr. hartnett
3. gael garcia bernal
4. ryan mickey mouse club gosling
5. jonathan rhys meyers. just because he seems like he'd be really really good in bed in that asshole kind of way. you know?
supps:
milla, would not say no to her.
that guy who was not benji but was the runner up in 'so you think you can dance 2'.
natalie portman, although i'd feel bad after.

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