tip-toes

This is probably the last chance i'll get at posting something before i turn 21. so people, i hope you all hae a good one.

if anyone was wondering, at some stage tonight, between 9 and 12 i'll be at click click waiting for Young and Restless to go on and trying to get my boy to dance. i didn't really invite anyone, so consider this a last minute open invitation to all interested parties.

I got a new haircut, and i'm still getting used to the fringe. well the fact that i had two people tell me it's not as hot as i thought was kinda hard on the self esteem. but i think it's hot. they'll be some photos some time i'm sure. well....birthday photos and all that. and i bought new bedding. Mossimo with 250 thread count so....decent. and it being the first complete set i bought myself i'm feeling all grown up and empowered.

well....to document this momentous occasion, rather than the usual Friday Fives, here's a meme:

Sunday Morning Meme: 50 questions


1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
my new hair colour is HAWT!

2. How much cash do you have on you?
all of $25

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"?
MORE!

4. Favorite planet?
MARS!!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
mum

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Ping Island from life aquatic

7. What shirt are you wearing?
a pink peter alexander tank

8. Do you "label" yourself?
as a hack

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
i'm in bed, but i was just trying on my new steve maddens: i hereby dub thee, shoes i'll never be able to walk in

10. Bright or Dark Room
dark

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
erm.....wanker (i stole this off the guy who did that craig's list prank)

12. What does your watch look like?
check the last post

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
talkin on the phone with my boy

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"baby. work sucks. i'm sick of these people. you are so great to me. thanks for everything. i miss you lots. love you baby" 10 bucks for who it's from

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
within my block

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
like...

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
my boy

18. Last furry thing you touched?
my stuffed cow

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
none.....cept for that one cigarette i had yesterday

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
what...in my life? a good truckload

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
as of tomorrow, 21

22. Your worst enemy?
kirsten "troll" dunst

23. What is your current desktop picture?
there's a running theme here...my boy

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
goodnight mum

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
practically, i'd take the money. but if i were to be selfish, i'd take flying anyday

26. Do you like someone?
oh i'm in lurrrrve

27. The last song you listened to?
OK GO - can't remember which. i've been trolling the dance contest videos and got excited

28. What time of day were you born?
6:00 a.m.

29. What's your favorite number?
6

30. Where did you live in 1987?
in china

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
miss scarlett

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
doubt it

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
asleep

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
try and pound it a little, then wait for someone to help me

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
i like to think so

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
i want my queen of hearts and ace of spades on my pelvic bone, little wings on my right ankle, fire on the base of my left foot, and some profanity inside my lower lip

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
spanish

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
yes

39. Are you touchy feely?
veeery

40. What's your life motto?
err...maybe

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
pocket ruled reporter moleskine with a uniball signo RT 0.38, my wallet, cell

42. What's your favorite town/city?
melbourne

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
my new steve madden patented bright fire engine red stacked heels that i can't walk in

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
can't remember...but i write letters all the time, i just find it easier to hide them under pillows

45. Can you change the oil in a car?
nooo...

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
that he may or may not come celebrate my birthday with me tonight

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
my great grandmother who was beaten and killed in front of my mother

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
erm.....i guess it'll be Mel's 21st when i wore my black and white polka dotted empire line strapless lil ditty

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
nope, cept for my toe which still remembers the pain from trying to walk in my new shoes

50. Have you been burned by love?
it's never the love part that burns is it?

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catch-ups

three blissful days later, i'm back, and it feels like i'm picking up from where i left off. it's even weirder this time, since the mess in my room still looks exactly the same. it just feels like i've been out partying and came home at some obscene hour, except i'd lost three days.

but those were some nice three days.

the application forms were signed and sent (well the important one is sent anyway, the other one would go soon, very soon).

along with the application forms i had to attach some passport sized photos. desperate and sama-less, i had to make do.

they're not as terrifying as last year's. they'll do. they replied, the audition is on November 15th. which means i can't go to Sing for Happy Feet. i'm going to have some painful emails to write tomorrow...

there's more after the jump...

the three days were spent lying around half naked, watching dvd's we'd brought with us, reading (a depressingly little amount), and mostly just lying around half naked. it was beautiful.

the amount of food we'd consumed was also quite beautiful. he'd suggested we should start our own food blog, but really, who'd want to see our greasy fry-ups day after day? this was dinner on tuesday night. the burger to end all burgers. i was K.O'd my little mouth couldn't even wrap around half of it at a time. he did better than me, and didn't leave as much of a mess. and tried to console me by telling me it's the equivalent to that of what he makes when he has asian food.





and it was followed in the morning by the following:



no you're right, that wasn't all. between the two of us we managed to polish off four sausages, four eggs, eight rashers of bacon, five mushrooms, two onions, three bread buns and an extra slice of bread and at least a litre of orange juice. project lose three kilos is flying high.

today i say. i start doing things today. (that krispy kreme carilious brought me just punched me back down again)

oh oh i got my watch! two years coming...and finally i have my hands on it, actually it has hands, on me...geddit? oh i'm so lame. but the watch is kickin some butt. check out my girl eva green rocking it


not too shabby eh? mine has a black face instead of the blue. (and she looks mighty fine and naked in The Dreamers if anyone's interested) she might actually make the new bond worth watching, despite the shite song and the shite mug on that shite daniel craig man

so after shopping, and eating some more (blue sky! cheap and tasty! some little alley way off lil bourke opposite a club X) we went in search of those baseball glove chairs at central. we managed to find where they all went to pasture, with somd DJ uncomfortably near us, actually the DJ i didn't mind so much, the speakers and the squat security guard dancing along did. and while we just just sitting there not doing all that much. a bunch of alice in wonderland characters flittered in for a photo op. there's twiddle dum and twiddle dee with Queen of Hearts. the two ditsy alice's were away somewhere dancing in their white knee-high go go boots. it was only then we realised it was the launch of On 3 in melb central. not all that interesting, but we did get to see people flying on poles...


so there, that's me up to date. what's left? oh right, the fives i forgot to put up all week...

A (Materialistic) Birthday Wishlist - 5 things i want

1. my watch (GOT IT! yayness, this is one to do list i can perform on!)

2. a trench coat (four years later and it's STILL in the magazines?)

3. a new ipod (i want my entire library in my pocket dammit!)

4. my Eyre Affair back from jazz (seriously woman, hand it to me)

5. the boy and zac's soon to be recorded EP (whenever it drops, hook me up)

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mp3ness

as you may have noticed (provided your Internet connection is up to speed), i've laid down some tracks to accompany this blog. in the interest of keeping people on the page i've decided to go with the least offensive track ever (albeit very sweet) to hit things off before settling into the JT.

i'm blogging at 4am again because i can't sleep. i hate getting home after the sun rises. we went out for late night cheesecake last night (and steak, after the cheesecake, don't ask) and my dear boy decided it's fine to run the battery down just to play some music while in the car. RACV was called, no tears were shed, but falling asleep with all the damned birds chirping outside just doesn't sit well with me. and the fact that the left side of my back is shockinly sore doesn't make things any better.

in less annoying news, someone has triple posted the same comment on one of my video posts from way back when.

Your very pretty, whether this is a true blog or not... unfortunately you don't have "it" that makes "lonelygirl15" a blog to watch for. Sorry, but I still think your very pretty :)
- jeromecruz

erm...ok dude. first off. why are you watching it? there's only that one video blog post so clearly i'm not some major "lonelygirl15" scale production. and who prompted you to compare it to lonelygirl15? get lost creep.
as much as i love youtube hunting, the community scares me in so many ways.

i know it's friday already, i'll have this week's list up shortly. once i think of what to make a list of...

essay report: not progress, not even close.
nine days until the big two one. still no plans. i need someone to hit me really really hard, maybe so hard that i'll go into a coma and wake up and it'll be all over, and people would feel so sorry for me that they'll throw a party for me. please?

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i heart hearts

just checking in, to you know, procrastinate some more

the adventures didn't really take off. instead i went out for dumplings with cary and the boy, and mooched various things to watch and listen to off the both of em.

among them, season three of entourage.

they toned down the celebrity cameos but kept the gut wrenching satisfying put downs they throw each other, the pure awesomeness that is vinny chase, and the only conniving son-of-a-bitch i'd want to fuck over my career, ari gold. it's the best kind of trash, i mean where else are you gonna see DJ adam line up for some limited edition sneakers?

i'm getting tired, maybe i should just admit defeat and call it a night. this fucking essay...it's gonna be the death of me

i officially have A Better Tomorrow in german on my computer. people who don't specify the language of their foreign film torrents need to DIE DIE DIE!!!

much like john tucker....
any takers? some time this week?

anyway, some sillies to see you out.

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you're the colour, you're the movement, you're the spin

this essay is never going to get written if i don't do something drastic.

i'm going off on an adventure today!

i'll go someplace i don't know, walk around some foreign neighbourhood, maybe watch a movie at someone else's local. i'll leave my phone at home, and most of my money.

loneliness was such a great motivator. not necessarily for uni work (god knows), but for the self. i was always so terribly aware of myself and exactly where i was. i need to go find that again. to all the good people who reads this blog: a brief farewell

-exeunt-

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merry paramour

i remember once, when i was much younger and a hell of a lot dumber, i gave away all my books in make believe auctions bartered with play money that i made. not only my books, my dad's books. this was way back when it was just the old man and me. he couldn't understand why i would be so generous with the books, which meant a hell of a lot more to me, than the all the dresses they shovelled off to my cousin. i guess in my young mind, i had a really warped idea of fairness, and deservings. my friends had already paid me enough in attention, and love. and they would treat the books with as much care as i did. my little cousin however, spoilt rotten as she were, did not appreciate all the things my dad and grandparents picked out to ship off to her. mostly dresses that no longer fit me, but sometimes graphic novels which she won't read. i always felt betrayed when i came back to find something gone and knowing it had gone to her. i would've quite happily given it all to the neighbouring kids if i'd known they were going to do that.

i made that decision very early on. blood is certainly not thicker than water. and people who are kind to me, deserve everything.

although i still live by that principle, after all the politics of highschool, i've learnt to be a lot more selfish. until that is, questions of love came into the equation.

i'm still as confused as ever. i've watched enough romantic comedies to get the point drilled in; that if you're not being honest then in the end everyone gets hurt
but it's never as easy as that is it?

so as i shout my mantras in my head
(WE ACCEPT!
ONE OF US!)
i'll just stumble along hoping something sticks.

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good morning sleepy head

my phone was vibrating on my desk this morning. and i wasn't sure if it was either a call or my alarm, i must have hoped it was a call. that's the only explanation for me to get out from under the covers. only my desk was too far away, so i had to just take one step. i scrapped the underside of calf along the edge of my bed trying to get to my phone, only to realise that it was my alarm. set at 7:15 because it got me confused with some other diligent uni student who wakes up at obscene hours during the holidays.

so not only did i have to suffer the searing pain (note the searing, i have mentioned previously that i sometimes enjoy a soft ebbing subtle pain but no, there was nothing subtle about this morning) but also the disappointment. and now i'm left with a scar down my leg, and it's still sobbing now.

disappointment's a funny thing. because you can only get disappointed if you'd hoped. i never took myself to be an optimist, snarky and bitchy as i am, so how come i'm disappointed a lot? i'm too much of a believer, in good things. it's what landed me here, not really doing anything, just drifting. as cynical as i can be i still think that things would just work themselves out eventually.

well no more i say. get ready for a whole new me. in 12 days and 20 hours i will be twenty-one. and legal all around the world. and i'm not about to step into it disappointed. scarred leg and all.

still no party though, because organising is a bitch.



wow...that rant took on a completely different path from what i had planned. but if making my own happiness is the theme then i guess i could get behind it. it's just that...3:50a.m. i'm sitting here blogging to god knows who. four hours ago he said he's going for a coffee and 40 minutes left of a show he was watching and never came back. it's becoming a habit of his, a frustrating habit. throwing in a "I'll call you!" at the end of conversations just because it's required, well in my world that generates expectations. and all the vacuous "xoxo"s. i'm dating a teenage girl (with a large wardrobe comprising of pink and pastels).

so liar, when and if you read this, give me a call.

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five favourite things to do in the sun

- sitting out on chapel st with good friends sipping a cookies and cream chiller

- watching girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes

- dreaming i'm someplace far more exotic with scantily clad grecian gods feeding me grapes (or the boy, whatever)

- looking for empty lecture theatres

- dandelions! fly my pretties...

and because my approval ratings go up whenever i post anything to do with this little lady...

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bits and blobbies

because i haven't posted any photos of my boy since his haircut...



that's right, we take videos of each other taking videos of each other. only i was clever enough to stop my video-taking to take a photo. we're the awesomest kind of suck. BAM!

and while lying about south lawn the other day we managed to spy young alex and her new toy canoodling. and the following will show off my awesome paparazzi skills





oh and carilious dragged me out clubbing last night, to his friend's birthday (Happy birthday Terry!) and it ended up being a pretty good night.
and to prove it all, here's a picture of rita flipping cary off

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bring back the sun

one of these days i'm going to feel guilty about rocking up to my tutes without reading anything or even watching the movies. but i'm still not gonna do 'em

a boy on the tram was wearing tee and shorts. and fingerless gloves. woolen ones, with red and black stripes. and a silver chain bracelet OVER the fingerless woolen stripy gloves. i bet you any money that he's sleeping alone tonight. fucking posers.

still doesn't beat the shock of the following image:

Steph Mac, in standee form
ARGH!


JB, we need to talk, i understand that you need to stock whatever crap the australian corporate sluts put out and all, but that was just not cool. without any warning either. just, right there... (To see it in action, just visit JB Hifi elizabeth st between the two pop/rock sections)

and explain to me again the boots?

and oh, what's this i see? you can actually win a signed standee?!?! fuck...standee is 165cm tall, i remember her being shorter than that. and fatter than that too, some major photoshopping action there my friends. i'm totally buying her album now. the woman has a standee.

:update:
OH HO! she's recorded a cover of wishin' and hopin'? as in what we were doing in ensemble 11 back in year 11? dear god. i can hear the ringtones haunting my tram line now. i'm gonna need bigger headphones.

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we've conquered lecture theatre C

after threatening to do so all six weeks. *ahem* yes...

beeeaaaautiful day today. lazed about south lawn all morning pretending to do the readings that i was supposed to have done by now, and went off to my tute presentation having only read half of all three articles. i've gotta say, as far as tutors go, wendy is teh bombest. kicking in when i needed her to and dragging my half articulated points to something a lot more substantial.

the let's-see guy went off his face. mars attacks went down a charm. i won't have to hand the paper in until after the holidays. everything was just peachy.

all of a sudden i feel like i might just be on top of things again, i'm pretty sure i'll have another panic attack sometime soon but today? i'm invincible today.

remember that quiz i did a year ago? well....i decided to do a recount...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.4
Mind:	6.3
Body:	5.9
Spirit:	6.8
Friends/Family:	3.2
Love:	7.7
Finance:	5.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

i see a vast improvement in one particular area =P how come my family and friends are still so low?

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fangirl

so australian idol started properly tonight. and you know what? they don't suck as much this year.

i am officially a bobby flynn fangirl (based on one performance, that's right, but we all know how it's all going to end...chanel cole anyone?). and i like that kyle is a judge, it means there aren't any overly ugly peoples in idol this year


aside from that (thrilling) report...yeah i know i'm pathetic...nothing was achieved today. i had such plans. i was going to do my tute presentation for 50s cinema and pound out a rough plan for hong kong cinema...it'll just have to wait i guess. although i did manage to clear the crap off my desk (onto the floor under the desk) and clean up my desktop on both computers (straight into my "to be sorted" folder) and reorganised my bookmarks toolbar (read: deleted the broken links). real productive. nod.

oh and i've narrowed down to four (currently in stock) tee's that i want from threadless...

the best shirt ever!
Communist Party



and some random cutesy stuff...







i still don't have any photos to show...well considering i've been home all day it's hardly surprising. oh oh i heard yesterday that a friend of a friend has just gotten herself a recording dealy...and since i'm not exactly friends with her i can happily bitch and moan here that she, being the rich bitch that she is, totally does not deserve it. no i'm not bitter, not one bit.

O'Sailor
by fiona apple, the once golden girl MTV darling. well she's still beautiful, and i'm still in love with her.

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Revival of the Movie Reviews

i have just come back, from something that was so shockingly bad, it has prompted me to revive my long dead movie reviews. although it's a pretty bad review. but you know, it doesn't deserve any better. take a lookie.

boy has a new haircut! but boy is not happy with the (lack of) length to his new haircut so girl shall refrain from posting pictures until boy is happier.

and on a scale of one to ten in terms of how fucked this girl is for her uni, i'd say she's at purple backwards.

there hasn't been much eye candy on this blog. i'm going to whip my camera out more often now and take pictures of things other than just the boy. maybe a bird, or a bee, or even the....no no, i won't go there.

i'm in a chipper mood tonight. and the JT is starting to sound a lot better, although, it still ain't no justified.

i could've been watching holly valance getting naked, instead i had to see the atrocities that was silent hill. carilious, i blame you punk! gumption or no.

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pill poppin

and not the good kind either. you know what? illness is funny. so i've started a medical journal. it's good readin' so far. finally got off my ass and saw a GP, a funny kinda fella who asks about "vigorous sex" and lectures you on how "the price of love is always tears, even if it's sixty years later and he dies, or if six weeks later it all falls apart."

i like him. i think i will be going back.
aside from the unpleasantries, which i shall spare you here, other pills were prescribed. i'm feeling all empowered, like i'm finally a modern woman. actually gettin something that kicked off the liberation way back when is very different from gettin some new found easy fix solution. and it also means that some strange man wouldn't have to see my ass every three months, which is always a good start.

my VOX invitation came through, just when i'm getting stuck into the blogger beta. (wordpress, as fancy as it can look, is idiotic. not letting people get at their templates? what is this insanity?!) so i'm all conflicted. although VOX is looking a lot like a mix of blogger, livejournal and myspace. which is a scary concept, undoubtedly fun and rating very high on the soul sucking levels, but maybe not the right addiction for now.

i need some food. pronto.

because i'm am teh lazy, why don't ya'll call me if you're going to be free on the 30th sept (sat night). there are no actual plans but...i'm sure i'll think of them as the day approaches. twenty-one bitchness. am freakin' old.

and since it's friday already...


5 phrases i don't want to hear the next four weeks.

"so...what do you want for your birthday?"
"so...when are you graduating?"
"so...what are you going to do after you graduate?"
"so...how are those essays coming along?"
"I think we should see other people"

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sillies

-Float-On://
MSN
if a guy's density base rating is 20, then it multiply's by a factor of 1.6 by each shade of white

jump for more sillies



-Float-On://
MSN
2:36
i heart baby panda's
2:37
there's seriously nothing cuter.
2:37
maybe baby turtles


-Float-On://
MSN
2:41
kill that hairy fucker!@


you know what...you need to see the rest of it. but only if you have a strong stomach

puss caterpillar: 1
puss caterpillar: 2

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earth pin

so apparently this blog has been too personal. well let's face it, it's been a down right smoochfest, in more ways than one. so this is to bring it all back to ground.

there's a gentle urgency in a few things that really should get done very soon. handing in my applications for NIDA and VCA for example. but filling out the "experience" section is so depressing. and perhaps even choosing the three monologues. all "that" is still a big scary mess that i don't really want to touch even though i want to be apart of it all. for now i'll just lay in my cocoon and dwindle.

i wants me some keds

i haven't really been about much lately. i mean as a person, who you know, does stuff. i'm poorly lacking in the "doing stuff" department. it's just that everything else tastes pale on the tongue. all i want to do is be with him, and doing absolutely nothing. i no longer have any interests. that's vaguely horrifying.

i've never been able to answer people straight when they ask me what i'm into, because you know...well....movies, isn't everyone into movies? and even that. not even the screenings for my uni subjects. that really needs to change. a chinese ghost story tomorrow, and b-grade goodness (The day the earth stood still). i'll make a note.


so that's my life, movies i haven't watched, books i haven't read, the mixtape that's been overplayed, and the boy. i'm still crazy about the boy.

oh and steve. poor steve.

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mela melan

fucking-cholia

little things fuck me up majorly. little words get under my skin, little lapses, of silence, well they just....who gives...

some little ditty is getting mighty excited about getting a new blog. linky panel has been re-linked accordingly.

doing magazine returns and listening to JT's shithouse album... could it get any worse?


fucking hate this eh? but it's not even your fault. but it'll be good if you, you know, paid more attention. first i cried in a long long time, on the guest bathroom floor with the lights off, doing my silent howling thing. i'm over it now, i went out for a smoke in the freezing cold. i'm over it. but god, just call me you idiot.

just got your message. stupid boy.

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birthday kiss

a HUGE happy birthday to Lily and Ali!! get your act together and organise them parties bitches! this woman needs more cake.

not that there's been a shortage...of cake...
no i don't know where i'm going with that either.

life is pretty amazing lately, and err...no grievances to report. which makes for pretty boring bloggin.

it was a certain girl's 21st last night which the boy was pretty excited about, so there's actually photos.
!!!


home so early...i feel more normal when i'm with him, now that i'm alone in my room it's so strange...there's some weight missing. oh deary me, here i go again. i'll shut up now.

5 things i want for my birthday

- to be perfectly happy for one whole day, that goes for everybody. well people i like, the people i don't like can just go to hell
- the plans, any plans to just fall into place.
- that alice in wonderland and throught the looking glass photoset i had in my head to take place (you hear that sama?)
- my tatt
- me, my boy, shacking up somewhere for as long as we can help it where people can't find us.

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