mood elevators

i am curiously happy today. for no reason at all. the whole day i was just in a ridiculously good mood. once for teeny second did i get annoyed by this horrible woman at work, but then a cute maori boy was standing behind her and i was all better again. i seriously can't figure it out. the weather was brilliant, but i like gloomy days when i can wear scarves. and i had to get up at an ungodly hour again for work. by all accounts i should be really crabby, and it's been officially 16 hours since i've been up and i'm still smiling. i really want to work out why, because what ever it is it's fking brilliant. being happy is really kinda nice

so therefore i'll do a proper post, like the ones gone by, where i crapped on and on so much that i had to make a

jump

so as to not daunt anyone coming to this page. (whole slabs of text scares me also)

***

i had to make my entire photobucket account public to serve karen's photos. gah. i forgot last time i set up a new account for wenyi. and now i'm too lazy to switch it over so, i guess i'll set up a new account for future blogging purposes. nothing too embarrassing in there, a lot of history, since every picture was uploaded for blogging i can associate everything in there to particular happenings these last few years. sensory exercises, like in method...

it's funny, i think method and i think marlon brando. and whenever i think of marlon brando, even if his name is barely mentioned in that questionable song by robbie williams, i think of G for some unknown reason. aaaaaah i hear you say, haven't heard that name mentioned in a while huh? yeah. i know.

***

lately i've found myself in-between obsessions. i can now officially control my urges to go out and buy more moleskines (no, the fact that i own every format i could possibly want doesn't make a difference at all). and the whole "have to step on cracks on the same position of each foot to even things out otherwise avoid cracks altogether" thing is not making me look like a total ass anymore. could it be? society has finally conformed me? the triumph of the superego and the death of the id?

trouble is, i no longer care strongly about...anying. maybe that's what i'm feeling today, lightness.

the unbearable lightness of being. my hacking through that book has been suddenly put on hiatus due to previously unanticipated influx of reading material that actually has baring on whether or not i'll graduate this year.

however

Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect some day to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? Then why do we feel it even when the observation tower comes equipped with a sturdy handrail? No, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts us and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.

i see so much of myself in the characters that it makes me sick. so i'll hit the pause, and begin slaughterhouse 5.

***

my mind's a funny thing. it keeps going back on one point lately. T. i know that went no where, and at the time i didn't want it to. he actually wanted to know more about me, which was what made it so scary. so why now? just that gawky indie boy charm coming back to bite me i guess. and that slight nz accent which slips in every now and then.

speaking of indie boys and cute accents, i tried really hard to not like the arctic monkeys. no really. the first couple of tracks i heard here and there didn't actually impress me all that much, and watching the clips was actually a little painful. but the album. my my. anything that debuts at number 1 on the arias shouldn't be worth a toss right? nothing can deserve the hype that they got. well ok, they probably don't deserve all the hype, but the album as a collective is still an exciting thing. super cute decent vocals.

so yes, on repeat - A Certain Romance, Arctic Monkeys

that's enough slobbering for one night i think. screw proof reading, why should i be more meticulous with my blog than my essays?
sorry for the lack of eye candy

hmm.....i'm still happy, this is a very good thing.